Love Me, Love Me Not
by SiriusMoonPuppy
Summary: Slightly AU MPREG SLASH! SBRL…Remus and Sirius comes back for 7th year in Hogwarts. They're both friends, but will their friendship ever blossom into anything more? What will they do when they fall for each other? Will they stay together? Read n Find Out!
1. Chapter 1

Love Me, Love Me Not

Summary: MPREG which means SLASH! SBRL...Remus comes back for 7th year in Hogwarts and Sirius, the most playboy of them all, just happens to take an interest in his quiet, calm best friend. But is it permanent or just a fling? What happens if Remus's health is on the line because of this? Read and find out!!

Author's Note: Hey!! . this is Jackie here aka SiriusMoonPup...please be kind with your reviews, but remember to review!! It's my first ficlet alone and I hope it pleases some of you..!! Flames will be used to warm me through the winter heh. Otherwise, go on! Enjoy the story!!

* * *

"Why the hell does Professor Black's name sound so familiar?" A 14 year old boy frowned and muttered to himself while walking up the stairs to his attic of his small, but cozy home.

The teenage boy had black colored hair and piercing, dark clear sky blue eyes with pale fine skin. His dark features always made him wonder who his other parent was, until now that is; in the back of his mind he always knew his father was really his mother or rather the one who carried him for nine aggravating months, this leads us back to why he was climbing up the stairs to his attic, in search for a clue that his DADA professor was ever involved with his father before.

His father, Remus J. Lupin, has always managed to slip pass the subject of his other "father". After a while, he knew to drop the subject and forget about it for a while, well until he could figure it out by himself, which just happens to be now. And now that he could start thinking on his own, Xavier Black decided that it was time for him to find out who his father was and after a whole summer of thinking over who it could possibly be (even Uncle James popped up to his mind, but that was impossible) and like it was meant to be, Professor Black showed up at his school of Wizardry and Witchcraft, Hogwarts.

It really amazed Xavier that his first suspect would be his own professor, but it could have been Professor Black, really it could, he had the same last name as Xavier and as well as his dark features. Of course this immensely surprised Xavier when he saw his DADA professor, so much that he almost fell out of his seat staring at his handsome professor walking by him. It was a big, big surprise but right now Xavier had access to his father's old belongings and that would help with his "investigation" quite a lot. He did remember his father mention Professor Black's name somewhere....

"Well...besides the fact that I have his last name as well...but I remember reading his name somewhere when I was younger, and I'm definitely sure it was a book from father's school trunk. Too bad he prohibited me from going through it again..."

Xavier sighed and shook his head quietly, pushing the dark forest green colored door to his attic open, stepping in and glancing around before spotting what he need, his father's old school trunk, the same one from his 7th school year, 14 years ago.

Walking silently across the room, Xavier kneeled on the floor in front of the dusty, dark brown trunk. He dusted it off quickly, opened it and glanced around at the yellowing papers, blinking quickly. -_How the hell am I suppose to find that stupid book in all of this?_- Xavier frowned and took out a few papers, leaving the trunk open while he sat down fully onto the floor, Indian style, and glances through the first few pages.

"This is going to take a while..." He murmured, putting the old 7th year homework down onto the ground, putting his hand in, he fished out a more paper and groaned when it turned out to be more homework. "Homework should be outlawed, takes up too much of our lives..."

Finally after 3 hours of going through paper after paper of old homework, Xavier found the one book he wanted. The book was an old faded brown leather bound book with the crest of the Lupin Family on it. Once he saw the crest and remembered tracing it when he was younger, he quickly opened the book, flipping through the pages of the almost ancient yellow looking paper, almost cringing at the sound of the papers crinkling. -_Hopefully it won't fall apart on me...father usually puts a anti-aging charm on his books, wonder why he skipped over this one...-_

After scanning the first few pages, Xavier noticed that the book was a journal from his father's teenage years. He smiled happily and almost bounced gleefully for finally finding the right book.

* * *

An hour later, Xavier would have been found in the same spot, but only in a different position with his back resting against the trunk, his hair tied up in a loose ponytail and his knees bent with the journal cradled in his lap.

The pages he read already were quite boring, talking about his father's life and all that during the summer of his 6th going onto 7th year in Hogwarts. Never once had it mentioned anything else besides his father's sadness about his "sickness" and how painful it was for him to go through with the transformation without anyone's help.

Only until he was about a quarter through the book, Xavier was able to see what his father's feelings were like when it came to going back to Hogwarts...and that was about the time the name Sirius Black flashed up at him from every page of the journal.

Xavier noticed this very quickly and after a while, he was even more suspicious if Professor Black was his other father, how many people could possibly have the last name, Black? The only thing he had to figure out was if Professor Black's first name was really, Sirius.

But that would have to wait; he was much, much more interested with his father's journal right...especially the greeting his father and "Sirius" gave each other after seeing each other after a whole summer....

Xavier grinned to himself and continued to read slowly, devouring the information like chocolate; this was probably the most interesting book he ever read in his life. He never heard about this Sirius from his father before...maybe he'll find out more later on...

* * *

Author's Note: I know it's short! I'm so sorry . but it's pretty late right now and my brain isn't functioning very well, which is pretty funny seeing how I write best at this time haha. Besides, the real story starts in the next chapter . so stay with me, 'kay? And yes, Ex, is Remus's son...his real son –nods nods-, not adopted or anything, Remmy carried Xavier for 9 torturous months, poor thing...Review Please! I need it to inspire me. Oh, and if you have any ideas on how I can make it an interesting story, don't hesitate to tell me..! 


	2. Chapter 2

Love Me, Love Me Not

Author's Note: -pouts- People decided to add me to their favorite lists and author alerts but totally ignore my cries for reviews...REVIEW PEOPLE...its like my food –cries- feeedddd meeeeee Please?? –sniffles- Well here's more...please review? Please pleas please?

* * *

****

**Past**

Glacier blue eyes glanced around, frantically searching the crowd of people waiting for the Hogwarts Train until he finally spotted two blonde heads, one very light while the other was a shade of honey blonde, with them he found one with black hair. Instantly he recognized them to be his best friends and the people surrounding him did nothing to stop him from drawing his friends' attention to him.

"JAMES! REMUS! PETER!" Sirius yelled out as loud as he could, jumping up and down, waving his arms above his head like a mad man, though at his height he was probably very noticeable just standing there as it is. Now who would have thought that the small, sickly pale boy from before would turn into a tall, handsome young man with aristocratic features that would have made every girl fall at his feet at will, which he has done before of course, it is Sirius Black after all.

But this summer got him think that maybe he should try something new, he was bored of everyone falling for him and begging him to take them to his bed...he wanted a challenge, something that would fight against him for once...and he has a feeling he knows who he could try that "experiment" with, too bad it'll risk his friendship though, which made it harder of Sirius to figure out if he wanted to do it or not. But time will help figure all things out and that's just what Sirius would do, sit and wait till the perfect opportunity arrives, but who said he couldn't flirt?? My point exactly, which explains why in the next two minutes, you would find Sirius hanging off Remus like a lovesick puppy, staring up at the twin pools of amber with his own in an expression of perfect puppy eyes.

Blinking down at the perfect blend of blue, Remus raise an eyebrow and chuckles at the warm welcome from one of his best friend, "Well...hello to you too, Sirius." Remus smiled warmly, but it lacked the brightness it used to, showing them all the stress his body went through in the past 3 full moons they were all separated from each other.

"Padfoot! Let go of Moony right this second before I smack some sense into you..!" James glared at his best friend playfully, standing next to Remus with his muggle clothing on, consisting of a white t-shirt on and black baggy jeans with sneakers. He continued to stare at the dark haired boy, crossing his arms in a way that reminded Sirius more of a jealous wife than anything else.

"Yes yes, darling...just wait a few minutes while I ravish this beautiful creature." Sirius smirked and moved his hips against Remus, making the poor boy blush bright red at his antics. "Yes Remus, I want to take you into the darkest corner of the train and have my dirty ways with your innocent body." Sirius said loud enough for everyone to hear, making Remus blush even more and slap him playfully on the arm while he laughed joyfully.

"S-Sirius!!" Peter squeaked at the stares that Sirius's actions were attracting to them, while Sirius and James enjoys this kind of attention, Remus and Peter the two quiet ones of the Marauders, would rather not suffer this kind of treatment. Peter paled even more from the stares his own voice got them, glancing around nervously, Peter tugged at Remus's long sleeve weakly to get the boy to help him stop Sirius from getting them into a even worse position.

Calming down a bit, Remus frowned at Sirius, "Sirius..." Almost immediately, Sirius recognized the warning tone of Remus and to stop any chances of irritating Remus more, Sirius dropped his arms from around the slender waist they were just wrapped around a moment ago, already missing the warmth of Remus's body pressed against him, Sirius silently glared at Peter for messing up his chances with Remus.

Catching the glare, James sighed and stepped between the two before Sirius scare Peter any more. "Stop that, you're freaking him out..." James muttered under his breath to Sirius so only he could hear, quickly Sirius turned his stare to James, silently telling him how much Peter irritated him to no ends. Seeing that expression for the thousandths time, James turned away and ignored it, smiling happily when he heard the familiar sound of the train coming down to pick them all up. "It's here! We're finally going back to Hogwarts...! The last year we can teach those professors what a true Marauder we all are!!!" James grinned when he saw Sirius attention shift from his irritation to his excitement.

Sighing sadly, Remus glanced around at his three friends, biting his lip gently, "I can't believe this is the last year we're all going to be together..." Gently, Sirius wrapped an arm around his fragile friend, pulling him closer, "You make it sound like it's the end of the world, Remmy. We're all going to see again, promise, right James?" Right on cue, James nodded, trying to reassure his quiet yet wild friend.

Remus nodded and glanced up at the train, "Guess it's another year at Hogwarts for us," Grinning, Remus glanced around at his small group of friends, "How bout making it worth it all?" Winking playfully at them, Remus bent down to pick up his trunk at the same time the others did.

"WHOO! LET'S GET IT ON BABY!"

"SIRIUS!"

"Sorry Rem, I just had to let it all out...I mean I get to be with you and then there's school, and the thrill of terrorizing the teachers. Making a name for yourself...Man, Rem I can see it now, in neon lights...THE MARAUDERS, TEACHERS' WORST NIGHTMARES. It's great... I feel so proud of myself, oh and you guys too." Grinning, Sirius winked to show he was joking around.

"Siri, you talk waaaay too much..."

"Remus! How could you? My feelings..nooo I feel them burning!" Sniffling, Sirius clinged to Remus. "Don't leave me like this...Remmmmmmmmy...!!!"

Shaking his head, Remus prayed to Merlin...

Merlin decided to sleep in that day...

* * *

Author's Note: Helllllo again! I know it's still short but at least its out earlier than I expected (I just had the urge to write P) so is it okay? Feedbacks please, I need them –sniffles- They might be a little OOC cuz I don't know what to do with em yet...the plot is more like in the middle of the story and I'm definitely not there yet lolz so bear with me, these chapters are need . enjoy! 


	3. Chapter 3

Love Me, Love Me Not

Author's Note: I know it's kinda confusing in the beginning and all but I'll try to explain what's going on...

Xavier is 14 and in his fourth year in Hogwarts and Sirius just came to be the DADA professor because Dumbledore asked him to, and yup like one of the reviewers said, it is an AU and I apologize for not putting that down in the summary...! It slipped my mind at the time lolz.

Xavier's reading Remus's journal from when he was in 7th year with the Marauders (yup, James and everyone is alive...I don't know if I'll include Harry in this ficlet tho) and the story flips back and forth between the present time with Xavier and the past where Remus is telling his story on how he fell for Sirius and all...including how he got pregnant, mmm that's about all I can tell you without giving too much away...hope you enjoy the story!!

* * *

**Present Time**

Frowning slightly, Xavier flipped through the few pages that explained what happened during the train ride to Hogwarts. Seemed like the only interesting thing was his father smacking the so called person, Sirius on the head for giving Peter a chocolate jellybean when he knew the guy was allergic to it, other than that, it was just like any other train ride he had taken during the four years he had been going to Hogwarts, it was...well kinda boring, okay fine it was really boring.

Xavier sighed and scanned his eyes over a few page, tucking the loose black hair that fell from his tie behind his ear, but suddenly stopping mid-motion when he heard a loud slam of door, almost wincing at the anger directed at the poor door, Xavier stayed stock still until he was sure his father walked passed the door and wasn't suspicious about him being up in the attic.

Finally after what felt like hours even though it was just a few minutes, Xavier was able to convince himself that his father wasn't about to come up storming into the attic and forbid him to read the journal again...not like Xavier would have listened, the journal was starting to tell an interesting story and Xavier couldn't get enough of it. He wanted...no he **needed** to find out what happened in his father's secretive past.

Why has his father never told him about the "Marauders"? Who was Sirius Black, why is his name almost exactly like Professor Black's? Why didn't his father keep in touch with these people, besides Uncle James? All these questions seemed to fly into Xavier's head when he was reading the journal and he desperately wanted to find out the answers to each and every one of those questions...and that's just what he's going to do, no one was going to stop him...not even if he had to keep it all a secret from his own father, it was the last thing he wanted to do but he would. He was tired of living a lie...he wanted to know his father's past and why never told him about it, was it that hard to tell his own son?

Biting his lips gently, Xavier settled back against the trunk, his eyes trained onto the little neat writing that belonged only to his father. Grinning, Xavier couldn't help, but notice that even back then his father was a neat freak practically, almost always perfect for every occasion that came to hand.

* * *

After at while of reading, it finally clicked in Xavier's head as to why his father was always with Sirius...why the two were practically hanging off to each other, but a question came to mind. _–Was Sirius really with my father or was he just fooling around? From what I read, father seems to think of him as his own little fantasy and I know how happy it made him when Sirius seemed to pay extra attention to him...but to Sirius, was this all a joke?-_

With an even darker frown than before, Xavier continued to read...

* * *

**Past**

Quickly slipping into his black robe, Remus tried to hide the new scars that he acquired over the summer, but all was lost when Sirius jumped at him and grabbed him around the waist, making him blush deep red from the warmth pressed against his back, shaking his head Remus ignored the feeling and tried to tug the black robe down once again, but Sirius held onto it tightly, a frown marring his face while he glared down at the wide white slash across Remus's back, from the looks of it, it must have been pretty deep when it was first made.

"Remus, what is that?" Sirius frowned more and stared down at Remus, one arm wrapped tightly around his friend, his free hand traveling down to push his shirt off more, examining the scar quietly. "You did this to yourself, didn't you? Glancing up quickly, Sirius sighed at the almost guilty expression on Remus's beautiful face.

Biting his lip, Remus nodded silently and pulled his shirt down, stepping out of Sirius's arm. "Yeah, I did...but you guys don't need to worry about it. It was a while ago..."

"What the hell do you mean don't worry about it?! We have every right to, Remus, you're one of our best friends and you should tell us more of these things! We can't have you hurting yourself like this, next summer you should move in with one of us at least...!" Running his hand through his hair quickly, Sirius tried to calm himself down, not knowing why the idea of Remus getting hurt would spark such anger in him.

Blinking, all Remus could do was stare in surprise at Sirius's small outburst. "Um...okay...? Sirius, you don't need to get so angry over it, I'm fine and it wasn't something serious so don't worry yourself about it..." Remus smiled softly at Sirius, trying to calm him down a bit before pulling at Sirius's crooked tie, trying to fix it for him. "Here, let me help...you're a mess..." Muttering, Remus went on and helped Sirius with his uniform, missing the loving look Sirius gave him but it didn't escape James though and James secretly stored it into his memory to ask Sirius about.

"Remmmmy" Sirius whined, grabbing a hold of Remus's hands and held them still, tightly in his own. "If you're going to tighten my tie any more I won't be able to breathe, you don't want dear Sirius to suffocate now do you?" Sirius grinned and pulled Remus closer, winking at him playfully.

Remus smirked slightly and unwrapped himself from Sirius's arms, "Good question...wouldn't mind as much as you think though." Remus smiled teasingly as Sirius gave him a fake sad look, but the pain in his eyes when they slightly glazed over from Remus's words weren't fake at all.

Oblivious to all of this, Remus continued to walk over to their seats, tip toeing to grab his and Sirius's bags, handing Sirius's to him before glancing out the window at the gradually growing Hogwarts. "We're almost there boys...another year of torturing and to be tortured..."

"Aye to that, mate." James stood up and smiled slightly, his eyes lighting up. "Another year to show my lovely Lily how dear she is.

Rolling his eyes, while Remus sighed softly at the mention of Lily yet again, Sirius took his bag from Remus's extending hand before grabbing at it quickly, lacing his fingers with Remus's. "You should learn to shut up about her for once, James...it gets annoying after about three years. You should just ask her to marry you and get it over with; you're seventeen for Merlin's sake!"

Pouting pitifully, James snorted quietly, "I was actually thinking of that before, but I don't know how she would react to it so who knows what I'm going to do for this year..." Finally noticing that Sirius was holding onto Remus's hand, James blinked and glanced up at Sirius with a mischievous glint in his eyes, "Awww, I never knew you loved Remus, Sirius! Why didn't you tell us the good news?" Teasing, James slipped into his black school robe as well, running through his hair to try to calm it down again only to have it get even messier.

"Aah my dear James, don't be jealous that I have Moony all to myself now."

"Oh darling, you're breaking my heart!" James smirked and swoons dramatically, leaning against the door, two hands placed above his heart with his face set into a comical sadden face.

Remus sighed and shook his head at the two, smiling lightly to himself and glancing shyly at Sirius wishing beyond all things that what Sirius said was true, but he dared not to dream that far, too afraid of the harsh truth when Sirius knew about his infatuations and would refuse him. Dropping his hand to the side quietly, Remus gently pulled his hand away from Sirius's, earning a quiet look from Sirius.

* * *

After getting everyone out of the compartment safely (minus some of the scraps he got from being pushed around in the hall way) Remus was able to get the other three Marauders to settle down and continue to walk normally until Sirius and James decided to test the strength of one another by tackling the other around.

"Come on kiddies, it's time to go back to scho- Sirius! James! Stop fooling around in the hallway right this minute!!" Remus stomped his foot, stopping in his tracks and glared at the two boys who seemed overly amused that they still knew how to push Remus's buttons.

"Yes, mother." James and Sirius said in unison, both oozing innocence at Remus, smiled cutely and waited for Remus and Peter to catch up before they all stepped off the train and began to walk towards their new and last year at the place filled with their best memories.

* * *

"I can just feel that this is going to be a long year..." Remus muttered, sighing and sliding into the seat of the carriage after James, getting sandwiched between his two tall and dark haired friends when Sirius slid in right next to him, leaving Peter to sit across from them all alone, not that Sirius cared.

"Oh, Moony, you say that all the time...!" Sirius said, grinning down at his pretty, honey blonde hair friend.

"That's because it's all true, Sirius." Remus answered back, sighing forlornly when Sirius just smiled cutely at him.

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't."

"Just shut up and agree with me for once."

"Yes, Mommy."

"Stop calling me that!"

"Mommy, mommy, mommy...ugh, now it sounds all weird..." Sirius pouted and wrinkled his nose, moving his mouth silently in the word "mommy", trying to get it to sound right again.

"Now look who's acting like kids." James tilted his head slightly, watching the exchange between Sirius and Remus the whole time, amused beyond words.

"Shut up, James."

"Yes, mother."

Sighing, Remus rubbed the bridge of this nose, "This is definitely going to be a looooong year..."

Smiling innocently at Remus, James and Sirius both secretly winked at each other over Remus's head.

Definitely a long year...

* * *

Author's Note: Yay! Another chapter done...I was actually quite happy with the ending haha, don't know why but I just am. Hope you guys liked it! R&R


	4. Chapter 4

Love Me, Love Me Not

Author's Note: Mmm I'm so proud of myself to have chapter 4 done –smiles tiredly and stares at the computer screen- its like midnight right now and I'm about to drop dead lolz. So please ignore anything weird hehe. Otherwise, read on!

* * *

**Past**

Stepping off the carriage quietly, Remus stood up proudly with his friends, just silently looking at their dear school together, trying to get up their nerves to go in and face their teachers, knowing that it's the last year it was all going to be like this, the last year for them to still feel like kids and it was quite hard facing the fact that after seven years of attending the same school, they all were going to leave at the beginning of this summer and never to come back again.

Sirius frowned quietly at the tension in the air, Sirius was never one to deal with sadness or any feelings like it very well, but this time he guessed he could allow it...to a certain degree though. He didn't need his friends to become depressed in their last and final year, the year he thought of as the best. They were suppose to be enjoying it and not just stand here and pick out all the gloomy moments...!

Quickly Sirius wrapped his arm around Remus's waist, proceeding to drag him away from the carriages and up the stairs, waving for the other two to come along. Remus blinked and pulled Sirius's arm from around his waist, "Stop that, Sirius...people are watching..." Frowning, Remus glanced away quietly, willing his heart to stop beating so fast from the small contact between the two while all Sirius could do was watch Remus with a mildly hurt expression before perking up a bit, smiling when he noticed a girl name Jeanne.

She was a year behind them and in 6th year, at least that's what he heard and he was a bit curious about her, she came up to him last year and asked for a date, but at that time Sirius was wrapped up over Remus but right now with all the negative reactions he was getting from Remus, he wasn't so sure any more...besides it was just an experiment, nothing more and nothing less. He just wanted to see if he was able to woo an unwilling person (AN: unwilling?!?! lolz) into his bed, but if he fails any longer, he might have to stop, right?

But some how in Sirius's heart, he knew all he was telling himself were lies, he wanted Remus as badly as ever...but could he ever admit that to himself? No, probably not...Sirius wasn't about to risk his reputation of being the sex god of the school just for someone who wasn't even willing to be with him. And this was all he could think about for the next few minutes, how he was going to give up on Remus if it didn't go well and instead go for Jeanne, besides he was too young to realize how in love he was anyways.

Sighing quietly to himself, Sirius ran his hand through his hair before glancing over at Jeanne again...she grew a bit and it might actually become interesting to try to get her instead of Remus, but for some reason Sirius couldn't get over the burning ache in his chest. He glanced over at Remus again, smiling softly at the pretty blonde before frowning at himself for it, silently Sirius berated himself for the action and opted to tell himself over and over again that he was straight and that it was all just a curious experiment...or was it?

* * *

Through out the whole time that Sirius's mental battle was waging on, James and Peter was able to catch up with Sirius and Remus. Silently, James watched his closest friend battle out his emotions and when he saw the trouble Sirius was having with them, James vowed to help his best friend figure it out if it was the last thing he could do. 

But of course, Miss Evans came first, James grinned and glanced around for his long time girlfriend before spotting her copper red hair out of everyone else, he had a knack to find his beloved in these kinds of crowded situations.

Glancing up quietly, Remus noticed that James spotted Lily and had a hopeful look on his face before poking him in the side, "If you want to go so badly, just go. It's not like we're going to accuse you of leaving or something." Remus smiled gently and continued to walk with Sirius and Peter after James said his farewells and rushed over to his lover. _–If only I found someone dedicated to me as much as James is to Lils...-_

* * *

Walking into the Great Hall, Sirius was still able to catch Jeanne's eyes and smile charmingly at her while sitting down at his usual table, getting ready to watch the sorting of the first years. Jeanne smiled back coyly, bubbly excited from the attention she was receiving from Sirius. 

Sirius continued to secretly flirt with Jeanne, using his body languages to show his appreciation for her. All the while this was all happening; Remus seemed to catch up on the fact that even though Sirius was there physically, his mind was completely wandering elsewhere. And that place turned out to be a 16 – year - old girl from their own house. Remus never really noticed her until now, but he recognized her instantly as the young brown eyed, brown hair girl with a curvy figure that came up to Sirius last year.

That one time when Sirius turned her down, Remus was actually pretty surprised...even proud of him, but now that his attention was back on her, Remus couldn't help but feel the sting of jealously burning a hole right through his happy mood. He silently looked away, the light fading from his eyes while he bit on his lip gently, trying to figure out why Sirius mood shifted so quickly. A moment ago he just had his arm around Remus's waist and now he's staring at another person, a girl for that fact too?

Remus gripped onto the edge of the table tightly, his feelings firing up from the inside, he quietly watched the two exchange flirtatious glances and stares. He felt sick to the stomach for actually believing he had a chance with Sirius, who was he kidding with? But even with the feeling of sickness fresh inside of him, Remus had a feeling that this won't be the last time that Sirius was going to hurt him...it was just the first...It almost made him feel like he was a toy to be used at will...this was what Sirius degraded his feelings to. Frowning and trying his hardest, Remus ignored all the thoughts running rampant in his mind, opting to shut them out until he had time to figure out the mess he called emotions.

* * *

**Present Time**

"Ex?!" Remus frowned, glancing around for his son, his face showing a bit of worry from the fact that he couldn't find him any where. "Xavier, where are you?!"

Blinking quickly, Xavier stood up quickly and silently, knowing that he inherited the skill of stealth from his father, he closed the journal and snapped the trunk shut and locked it up, grabbed the journal and opens the attic door, slipping out of the small opening he made for himself before walking down the stairs quickly.

Jogging to his room, Xavier opened his door and walked in, stuffing the journal under his pillow and glanced around before kicking off his show, throwing off his shirt and sliding into his blanket, ruffling his hair a bit before sitting up, pretending to just woke up.

"Yes father?" Xavier yawned and rubbed his eyes, watching his door open to reveal a relieved Remus.

"There you are..."

"I was here the whole time."

"I didn't realize that."

"Really? You're losing your touch, father." Xavier teased lightly, leaning against the headboard.

"Oh be quiet..." Remus smiled and walked fully into the room, staring at his son quietly, quietly amazed at how much he looked like Sirius. Shaking his head silently Remus sat on the edge of his son's bed. "You should get out more...you look so pale."

"Father...I've been pale since I was born," Xavier chuckled and stretched a bit, "It's in my genes."

"Well yeah...but still, you're awfully pale."

"You too."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"Not."

"Don't deny it, you know it's true."

Remus grinned and leaned over to ruffle Xavier hair, making his son pout a bit before standing up, "Fine...so what?"

Blinking, Xavier shrugged and tried in vain to straighten his hair again, "Um... I don't know?"

"Mmm...dinner is going to be a bit late today, I ran into a few problems." Remus smiled weakly at his son, walking towards the door and turns around to look at Xavier, glancing around at his room. "And for Merlin's sake, clean up your room."

"Yes, mother." Xavier grinned and waved at Remus, watching his father walk away, heading towards the kitchen, before sighing in relief and curling up under his blanket, his thoughts wondering off to what his father would be like if this Sirius person was still there. Chewing on his lips gently, Xavier silently promised to himself to find this person and show his father what happiness was like again. Xavier smiled cutely at his small promised and slowly began to fall into a sleep filled with the Marauders and their so called "adventures."

* * *

Author's Note: For some reason, most people tell me how they like Xavier and I was thinking if I actually finished this fic, I might make a sequel where Xavier actually meets his father...just wondering tho lolz, not actually thinking about it yet. But it would be an interesting fic to write about. Anyways, thanks for reading! R&R always hehe...one question tho, tell me if Xavier is okay this way or do you dislike him like this?? Oh, I also might not be able to update for a bit with High School and all so sorry –pouts- I need more reviews too –cries- I feel so lonely lmao. 


	5. Chapter 5

Love Me, Love Me Not

Author's Note: Whoo! Okay...at least some people like this fanfiction haha. Mmm, I know I told you that it might be while before I might update, but then something happened and I decided to update –smiles cutely-. Someone decided to flame me for writing about homosexuality and it just totally pissed me off enough to make me write while I had loads of homework and totally sick. Just one thing, if people don't like homosexuality and I put that it's slash already...do NOT flame me for it, it pisses me off to no ends and why the hell are you even reading my fic if you don't like slash?!

Jeez...okay enough ranting; enjoy the story and thank you for your reviews!!! Much appreciated...besides the flame psh. Oh yeah –smiles happily- I'm a Remus fan too –winks- but Sirius is more my type haha, I love em both!

* * *

**Present**

Yawning, Xavier slowly sat up, blinking at the sound of his bearer's voice through the door, calling for him to wake up for dinner. Xavier slid out of the bed and shivered when his bare feet touched the cold floor; messily he threw on a white long sleeved t-shirt and pulled on a pair of socks to protect his feet from the freezing winter cold. He walked towards the door and opened it to reveal his tired looking father, "You should really sleep more..."

"Maybe after we eat, I'm starving and you should be also. Have you eaten anything the whole day anyways?" Remus frowned and glanced at his son while walking towards the kitchen.

"Yeah, a bit..." Xavier shrugged and followed Remus. "Um... I want to ask you something, dad..." He bit his bottom lip nervously and sat in a chair at the table, gripping onto the edge of his seat gently.

Raising an eyebrow, Remus nodded slowly, not really trusting the nervous tone of his son while continuing to place their meal on the table that consisted of pasta, shrimp and an Alfredo sauce to go with it. (AN: is that even real? –blinks-)

"Well...I was kinda wondering what your Hogwarts days were like, you know? I've never heard you talk about it before and got all curious and since you're here and all it just popped into my head, besides I'm fourteen and I don't know a thing about your past, father..." Muttering, Xavier frowned quietly to himself before blinking at the plate set in front of him, following the hand of his father up to his slightly pained face.

"I don't know, Xavier..." Remus frowned and sat in the seat across from his son, staring at his plate of food with a distracted expression.

"Why not? I just want to know what happened, it's not fair to leave me in the dark like this, father. I just want to know what happened before I came into your life...everyone else seems to know about their parents, and me..." Xavier glanced away with a pained expression. "...I don't know a thing about you and it just..." Sighing, Xavier shook his head and started to eat, "just forget what I said..."

"No...I won't, I'll tell you Xavier." With a hard, determined expression on his face, Remus almost seemed to transform from his usually calm and shy self. "I'll tell you about some of it...just don't go spreading it around and stuff." He quietly pushed his plate away from himself, not feeling so hungry, just exhausted and mentally drained. "Remember that I love you now and nothing in the past matters anymore, okay?"

Nodding, Xavier frowned slightly, wondering what his father was going to tell him.

"There was this person with the name of the Sirius Black. He was from the purest of pureblood family and no, the Malfoy is the most pure...they branched from the Black family after all." Smiling at the old memories flashing through his mind, Remus continued on, "I loved the man...sadly, the feeling wasn't reciprocated. He...wasn't the person I thought he was. And the story kind of started like this..." Remus murmured and continued on, completely lost in his past, not even noticing the surprised look on his son's face when he confessed his love for the man lost in his past.

* * *

**Past **

Throughout the whole celebration of being back at his beloved school, Remus couldn't help but notice that Sirius's attention had shifted from him to Jeanne almost instantly. Feeling the pain in his chest flaring up, Remus decided it was time to leave before anything else happened, but fate seemed to be against him today. Just when he was about to escape from hell, Sirius seems to notice that his friend was missing. Spotting the slender boy at the door, Sirius hurried towards him with Jeanne at his side.

"REMMMYYY!!!" Sirius grabbed the hand of the girl beside him, not noticing the blush slowly spreading across her face.

Frowning, Remus cursed his bad luck and turned around slowly, paling slightly at the sight of the linked hands. "Yes...?" Remus whispered, trying to ignore the pangs of hurt running through him while staring at the two.

"Me and Jeanne...oh! This is Jeanne by the way...Jeanne, this is my dear friend, Remus." Sirius grinned and introduced the two together, oblivious to the tensing in Remus. "Aah yes, for the reason I'm here...Jeanne wanted to see the deserted classroom we both found last year. You know the one we use for a secret hide out? I kinda forgot the password..." Biting his lip, Sirius stared at the young werewolf, mentally begging him to tell him the password.

"W-what? You want to show her our secret hideout...?" Remus almost cried out loudly in disbelief, feeling like he just lost the last bond he had with Sirius. The hideout they found out last year was the only thing they had shared together secretly, they didn't even tell James and Peter about it and now Sirius wanted to show **her** the classroom?! "Why...?" Whispering, Remus ignored the nauseous feeling he was getting.

Sirius shrugged indifferently, "Just because...she wanted to show her, stop being so mean Rem and tell us the password..." He ran his hand through his hair, wrapping an arm around Jeanne waist and frowned slightly at Remus. "C'mon, Remus, we have to go soon...!"

Remus continued to stare at Sirius in disbelief, amazed at his mood swing before turning around, feeling terribly hurt from his tone of voice. He started to walk towards the exit again before stopping quietly, "It's Dracula..." If he wasn't so hurt, Remus would have smiled at his friend's obsession with the old black and white movie that he had shown him last year.

Sirius grinned, oblivious to his friend's pain before rushing out with his new so called "girlfriend" who looked back to stare at Remus quietly, her woman's sixth sense telling her something was wrong, but couldn't help to fix it while being dragged away by her long time crush to his secret hide out.

* * *

Remus stumbled into the Common Room of his Gryffindor House; silently he walked up to his 7th year dorm which he shared with the other Marauders for the last seven years he had been here. Sliding into his bed, Remus took in the comfort of his bed, curling up underneath and ignoring the tears gathering at his long eyelashes, closing his eyes Remus slowly fell asleep, a tear rolling down his cheek. Oblivious to his curtains being ripped open by a teen of 17 with black hair and glasses on.

* * *

Staring down at his auburn hair friend, James frowned at the sight of tears on his cheek. Running his hand through his hair, James sat down on his bed, continuing to stare at the bed across from his with Remus on it. Silently James waited for Sirius to come, ignoring Peter who came in about an hour later to sleep. He sat there for hours until he heard the door knob turning on the door, glancing over, James raised an eyebrow sharply and waited for it to open and reveal his dark hair friend.

Sirius stepped into the room quietly, satisfied with himself until his glanced up from closing the door, blinking at the hard, icy eyes of James. Frowning, Sirius glanced around for someone else for James to glare that hard at. After confirming that his best friend was glaring at him for no apparent reason, Sirius tilts his head slightly, confused. "What? Why are you glaring at me like that for?"

James stood up in a flash and after calmly putting two silencing spells on Remus and Peter's bed; James was finally able to turn around to his friend, his face set into a hard, angry look. "Why am **I **glaring at **you**?! Ask yourself that question you moron!!!"

"What the fuck are you yelling at me for?! What got into you James? I just got back from a great get together with a friend and now you're totally ruining my mood...UGH! I do not need to listen to this...!" Sirius shook his head angrily and turned around, stripping out of his clothes down to his boxer before starting to crawl into his bed.

"I have every right to ruin your mood when you hurt Remus as badly as you did..."James whispered softly, his anger being replaced by sorrow for his friend.

Freezing in his actions, Sirius turned around quietly, frowning at James, whispering back, "What do you mean by that...?"

Shaking his head, James smiling sadly, "You still don't know do you...? When you were flirting with Remus today, was that all an act?"

Sirius frowned and nods slowly, tilting his head, "You thought it was more...?" Sirius shook his head and sighs, running his hand through his hair. "I only like Remus as a friend...no more than that, no less..."

James stared at Sirius quietly, trying to judge if he really was telling the truth, "I see..." Quietly he stepped back towards his bed, "I never thought you were the type of person to lie to themselves..." Sliding into his bed, James slip into his covers, closing his curtains and leaving Sirius to stand there, thinking over what he said.

After standing there in the silence, Sirius hesitantly lied down on his bed, his mind wandering over what James had just said. Does he really like Remus after all...?

* * *

Throughout all that has happened, Remus still slept on, completely oblivious to the fact that the fight between James and Sirius was over him. Curled up under his blanket, Remus always thought of himself as protected from the world, luckily James put that silencing spell on his bed. At least for now, he was shielded from the hurt Sirius could have caused him with his words.

* * *

Author's Note: -sniffles and grabs tissue- poor Rem lolz...hope you guys are still with me, R&R!!!


	6. Chapter 6

Love Me, Love Me Not

Author's Note: Yay!! Another chapter for all of you reviewers lolz!! Sorry if its short or anything, I kinda did this quickly cuz I wanted to update for you guys hehe –winks- About the "father" and "dad" thing, I'm gonna try to type "dad" from now on cuz yeah it is kinda weird for a 14 year old boy to call Remus "father" but it felt weird at first to type "dad" so I thought I'll just type "father" instead –grins-...well here's the next chapter and enjoy it! R&R pleeeease –begs-

* * *

**Past**

Against his will, Remus felt himself being dragged back into the world of the living, sighing, Remus stretched and rolled onto his side so his back was facing the sunlight shining through the small slit between his curtains. Groaning quietly, Remus found that his new position didn't even help block out the consciousness flowing into his waking mind and instead caused him to finally give into the wakeful state that he was slowly beginning dragged into.

Sighing, Remus turned onto his back again, the blanket circling around his waist and his shirt riding up his stomach slightly to show a bit of his skin. Remus smiled to himself, thinking of Sirius and how lovely he was before all of what happened last night flashed into his mind, quickly Remus frowned and closed his eyes tightly, trying to block the images away from his mind.

Biting his lip, hard, Remus sat up slowly and pulled the blanket off of himself, pushing the curtains on the side of his bed away from each other. He stood up, his feet touching the sun warmed floor, smiling softly to himself, Remus subconsciously avoided looking at Sirius's bed that just happened to be placed beside his.

Remus ran his hand through his hair to keep the hair out of his face, Remus walked towards the bathroom, smiling brightly at the messily sleeping James. He decided to finish up with his shower and morning routines before waking up his other friends.

* * *

Walking into the shower, Remus relaxed under the steady, relaxing rain of water coming down on him. Just for now, the painful memories of Jeanne and Sirius together, along with everything that happened in the past few draining days seemed to flow down with the water into the drain and washed away. Just for now, he could relax and forget everything hurtful before having to face it all over again, but this time, maybe, just maybe, he'll be ready to face it all.

* * *

Sirius rolled out his bed and stares at Remus's empty bed, suddenly the night before and fight with James came flying back to him. Groaning, Sirius sat at the edge of his bed with his elbows resting on his knees, his face buried in his hands. Quietly he berated himself for being so cruel to the usually sweet and kind Remus, for playing with his feelings, but from all of this, a question popped into his head, was he really straight or not? He couldn't stop thinking about it last night after James yelled at him for lying, but was he really lying? All night Sirius stayed up and tried to figure it all out, but he couldn't. He knows that he's straight than why is all these strange feelings popping up when Remus walked by? The feeling of butterflies flying around in his stomach when he sees the auburn hair boy smile softly or maybe how he couldn't keep himself composed around him or how he became all tongue tied when Remus was near him.

And somehow, he couldn't help but feel a sad aching settle in his chest, what did it mean? Why did he feel this way? Sirius wanted to cry out in anger at himself, once again he started to think of what James said last night. In some strange way, Sirius felt like he broke something in Remus that he knew he could never mend again unless he had the time and patience for it, but he knew those two things that was required was never his strongest point and it hurt him to think that he had had harmed Remus in any way.

But then his other half came along, yelling at him to stop moping about Remus, telling him that he was just an experiment after all and that it didn't matter if he broke the guy's heart. He was straight and that was all that mattered, that the person he was suppose to be chasing after his girls, specifically Jeanne and not Remus, a best friend he had since first year here. Yes, that's right, he was straight, doesn't matter what James said, it didn't matter at all. Remus was just an experiment of finding out of he could lure someone unwilling at first to come into his bed with him...it didn't matter if he failed or not, then how come his heart was burning when he was saying all of this to himself...?

* * *

Stepping out of the shower, all Remus had on was a small towel around his waist, glancing around, he froze at the sight of Sirius awoken. Frowning, Remus glanced away and walked towards his trunk, not caring that the towel wasn't covering enough as it is and that bending over to pick out your clothes wouldn't be the wisest idea. Remus gathered his clothes into his arms, walked towards his bed and dumped the clothing onto his bed, ignoring that stare on his back, but could still feel it burning into his back and trailing downwards.

Remus shivered lightly and scolded himself for trying to get his hopes up again, he knows that all he was going to get for loving Sirius was pain so why the hell is he getting excited from just a stare? Growling at himself lowly, Remus rolled his eyes and pulled on his clothes quickly, quick enough so that no one could see anything.

This was pathetic, he knew all Sirius was doing was fooling around with his feelings so he should just forget him, but even though he was telling himself all of this, Remus knew it was going to be a loooong while before he could forget the loving blue eyes he had grown to love so much or the warm smile that seemed to always brighten his day even when it was covered in gloom. Almost in an instant, Remus mood changed from determined to depress, all he wanted to do now was to crawl back into his bed and cry his heart out again.

It pained him so much that he didn't even want to think about it, but his memory seemed to like to torment him with pictures of Sirius and Jeanne together flashing through his mind. With his shaking shoulders as the only clue to him crying silently, Remus crawled back into his bed, closing the curtains quickly but not quick enough for Sirius saw the tears streaming down his face.

* * *

And yet again, Sirius felt his heart burst from the pain of seeing the tears run down Remus's cheeks, for now his silent conflict of being straight or loving Remus has completely come to a stop, the only thing on his mind was setting things right with Remus again. He had to make his friend feel better or else he would forever live with the guilt of causing the pain he just saw shown from his fragile but strong willed friend. He needed to break it to Remus that he's straight and with Jeanne, he needed to see his friend move on no matter how painful it was. He couldn't bear causing Remus more pain, even if it was just all a game to him...

* * *

**Present**

Trailing off, Remus blinked and stared at the clock over Xavier's shoulder. "Oh my god, you're supposed to be in bed, dear Merlin, it's late." Remus frowned and stood up quickly, cleaning away the mess before raising an eyebrow at his son. "Why didn't you tell me that it was so late and that was going on and on about my past life?"

Watching Remus rush around the kitchen and tidying it up, Xavier grinned and sat at the table, crossing his ankles under the table and stretches, "Well it was interesting and like I said before, I wanted to learn more about your past life so I thought it should just sit there and be a good boy while listening to you talk on and on about it. I never knew you liked someone so much like you did with this Sirius." Xavier frowned at the thought of his father's love being crushed up by the one he wanted most. "It must have been painful..." Whispering, Xavier watched his father slow down before he finally came to a stop.

Remus smiled painfully and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the old ache rearing its head after so many years of lying dormant, "Yes...yes it was painful, but it was what he wanted...I could never have went against the wishes of someone I love so dearly..." Remus whispered in answer to his son's question before going back to cleaning, but much more slowly, his hands slightly shaking from the pain he was feeling again. If only Sirius knew how much he still love him, if only...

* * *

"Go to sleep, Xavier."

Nodding, Xavier stood up slowly, "You should sleep too...you don't look to good, dad."

"Don't worry, I'll sleep soon." Remus smiled at Xavier and shooed him out of the room after giving him a good night kiss on the forehead. "Sweet dreams..."

Xavier nodded and walked towards his room, "You too..." Walking into his room, Xavier closed the door and walked towards his bed, sliding into it. Quickly sliding his hand under the pillow to check if the journal was still there, Xavier smiled when he found it easily, slowly he was able to fall asleep, completely oblivious to the pain he caused his bearer for making him relive the past all over again...

* * *

Author's Note: Whee okay, chapter 6 is there lolz. So how was it? Give feedbacks please, oh and question, very important by the way...which is better Halloween or Christmas break? Lolz I'm serious, I need this info –smiles innocently- and once again R&R!


	7. Chapter 7

Love Me, Love Me Not

Chapter 7

Author's Note: Whooo!!!!! Chapter 7...I don't know if it's okay cuz I kinda did it quickly but hope you still enjoy it. And thank you for those who reviewed! Yes you may hit Sirius a couple of time for being so stupid –sighs and rubs head sheepishly- mmm but don't damage him too much, Remus would get angry –nods nods- and so now, for Chapter 7! Whee!!! –bounces away-

* * *

**Present**

The morning after the long night of storytelling found Remus awake and about with only a few hours of sleep in him, which would at least explains his messy hair, sleep- glazed eyes, his shabby clothes and the small stumbles he made while walking towards the kitchen to cook up breakfast for two.

After banging around the kitchen a couple of times, cursing silently at the automatic alarm in his brain that caused him to wake up at 6 a.m. sharp every morning, Remus forced himself to close the refrigerator door "softly" for the third time.

Glaring around the large room with a small, half wall to separate the kitchen from the dining area, Remus finally sighed, leaned against the counter and ran his hand through his hair, mentally berating himself for forgetting that they ran out of grocery yesterday night and that he was suppose to get extra sleep last night to go out grocery shopping today. But nooo, instead he was sitting at the damnable dining table and telling his only son his stupid past with Sirius Black.

Slowly he pushed himself off the counter, straightened his clothes, breathed in a few deep breaths to calm down and started towards Xavier's room. He knew he would feel bad for his son for being woken up so early, but at the same time he knew he would need the help with the grocery. With the last bit of thought in mind, Remus stopped at Xavier's door and knocked on it, raising an eyebrow at the silence following, Remus opened the door silently, knowing exactly when the door would start squeaking. Slipping into the room, Remus frowned and glanced around the messy room, then again what teenager boy didn't have a messy room?

Walking into the room more, Remus felt like he was venturing into an unknown area of his house and this made him quickly realize how much he had missed out on his son's life due to work and stress. Sure it was hard to get a good paying job when you're a werewolf, but should it take up so much of his time that he was neglecting his own son?

Remus rubbed the bridge of his nose, frowning and scolding at himself for not paying enough attention to his son, not even enough that his own son had to ask him to tell his past...

* * *

**Remus's POV**

Slumping against the wall, I looked around the room, slowly realizing how of my son's life I've missed. All those precious moments gone just for money, what have I done? It's all my fault! He shouldn't have been neglected like this...I thought that a father was suppose to take care of his son and give him food to eat, money to spend, but I've been so caught up, I've never noticed the love that he needed. He even had to come to me first and ask for it! What is wrong with me?!

Shaking my head, I tried to clear my head of all these horrible thoughts. If only he didn't bring Sirius up...it would have been easier on me, but I've always thought I could lock that part of my life up and throw it into the ocean, never to be seen again. Who would have thought my own son would dive under to retrieve it and bring it up again...

Pain...

That's all I can feel when the name Sirius pops up, why didn't he come back? Why did he choose **her**? If only he was here, life would be so much easier to deal with. But he couldn't could he?

Pushing myself off the wall and stumbling silently but blindly around the room, collecting things from the floor, my mind wandered back to Sirius and what a perfect Pureblood he was...choosing someone just for their blood. If I wasn't in Xavier's room, I think I would have laughed bitterly at the thought or even the past I had...and what a horrible past it was...

* * *

**Past...3rd Person POV**

A month later after the small incident, okay...large incident between Sirius and Remus, everyone went back to pretending that everything was in order and organized without anything out of place, in other words everything was in order again.

Sure, Lily asked a thing or two about it, always staring at Sirius and Remus weirdly, dropping a little hint here and there about it or even directly confronting them about their pathetically sad moods, but nothing else really happened.

Sirius ignored Remus, Remus ignored Sirius, well until James both came up and yelled at them for it. But only until a week ago did they start to talk again, after Sirius declared to all that he was going out with the one and only Jeanne. Remus felt heartbroken from the news, but quickly hid it when he felt Sirius's analyzing stare on him.

He would never, ever tell Sirius his secret crush when he was with another person. Remus promised himself that he was to strong for that and he didn't to tell Sirius even if he broke under the stress, he will not **ever** interfere with Sirius's happiness. No matter how much it pained him so...

So here we find the Marauders and their ringleader's so called girlfriend a.k.a. Lily Evans at the Gryffindor table, eating their lunch. Just a few moments ago, everything was going fine until the awkward silence came over the table when Sirius's current girlfriend, Jeanne popped up and slid into his lap.

Almost instantly Remus tensed up and glanced away, his hands fisted and grabbing onto his blue jeans. Suddenly he stood up and stepped over the bench they were sharing, running his hand through his honey blonde hair, Remus tied up quickly into a low ponytail with a few strands of hair framing his face and gathered his books under one arm.

Glancing around, Remus gave a strained smile to everyone, excusing himself to the library and almost ran out the room, wiping his slightly wet eyes quickly before someone could see. Repeatedly he told himself that he was strong enough to ignore all of this. Who cares that Jeanne had Sirius when he didn't? Who cares that Sirius didn't want him and rather have a girl when he knew how much Remus cared for him? Who cares about anything at all?!

Dropping into the chair after signing in with the librarian, Remus inhaled and exhaled deeply, once in a while wiping his wet eyes, sniffling to himself in his lonely, dark corner of the library, glad that no one saw him cry...boys or men, who cares what age, don't cry, do they?

* * *

Lily watched as Remus run out of the room, not missing the moment when he wiped his eyes quickly. Knowing exactly why he did that, he was crying wasn't he? Frowning, Lily glanced at Sirius, glaring at him lightly for causing Remus so much pain, too bad the stupidity of this teenager could be matched by no other, well besides James but that was beside the point...The point was that he didn't know how much poor Remus cared for him and that he was hurting him for no reason what so ever...! Remus should be treated more fairly than that, and who gives about that whore on Sirius's lap anyways?!

Fuming, Lily stood up and glared at James pointedly, mentally telling him to talk to Sirius about all of this tension flying around. She turned around and grabbed her messenger bag, ignoring Jeanne and Sirius's goodbye to her. Her main objective right now was to find Remus and try to calm him down or at least cheer him up a bit before he did something they would all regret...

* * *

Raising an eyebrow, Sirius glanced around the Great Hall, wrapping an arm around Jeanne's waist. Thank Merlin he was able to get over his phrase of Remus's loving and able to come back to his old self. But it seemed to him that everyone was running around and completely ignoring him, they didn't even help him celebrate his union with Jeanne!

Sirius frowned at the thought and pulled Jeanne closer...great; his mind is wandering towards stupid topics again. Sighing Sirius closed his eyes tiredly and rested his hand on Jeanne's slender shoulder, rubbing a few fingers on her side. Once again, Sirius found his thoughts pointing towards Remus, sure his friend was talking to him again but it would always end up awkward with one of them walking away or with someone else jumping in...mainly Jeanne.

Blinking his eyes open, Sirius quickly glanced at Jeanne, raising an eyebrow, Sirius slowly nodded to himself.

Was it him...or did Remus always disappeared when Jeanne was around...?

* * *

AN: (Got sick of typing Author's Note haha) well I know that this doesn't have that much humor but still...hope you review!! REEEEEEEEAD


	8. Chapter 8

Love Me, Love Me Not

Chapter 8

Author's Note: Whoo!! Chapter 8 here, I think I'm quite proud of this chapter for some reason lolz, maybe it's cuz it's actually longer than my other chapters? –blinks- oh well I duno I just like it lmao. I hope you enjoy it!!

Disclaimer: I just realized I didn't put this in the other chapters, but nope I don't own Harry Potter lolz if I did, Sirius and Remus would definitely be screwing like rabbits –winks-

Thank You For Your Reviews!!!

* * *

**Past**

The auburn haired boy walked silently into the Gryffindors' Common Room. He quietly slid up the stairs, hoping against hope not to be seen. He was as tired as it was, having fell asleep in the library after Lily's visit. Lily was practically advising him to tell Sirius how he felt...but he couldn't do that, Sirius was already with Jeanne and Remus would never have thought of breaking up a happy couple, even if it meant to hurt himself.

Remus ran his hand through his hair, continuing to travel up the stairs, trying to empty his mind of all his wandering thoughts but for some strange reason, his mind keeps wandering back to Sirius. Was it really his fault that Sirius left him? Was it his fault that Sirius fell for Jeanne and not him? Was everything his fault...?

Quietly Remus stepped into his dorm-room, biting his lip gently. He glanced around silently, already tired from sleeping in such an awkward position in the library for so long, especially when all the stress was getting to him. With all the commotion of Sirius and Jeanne together and the fact that he was falling behind in his school work was taking a serious toll on him. Sometimes, Remus even felt like he should just throw everything away and just crawl into a small hole and hide from the world. The pain he was bearing was too awful for his small body to bear.

After making sure that he was absolutely alone, Remus smiled to himself, at least now he would have the peace and quiet he was longing for. He pulled the green ribbon from his hair, letting his long, silky hair fall down loose to trail down his back and pulled off his black uniform robe to reveal regular muggle clothing that consisted of a big shirt with a collar that wouldn't seem to stop falling down his left shoulder, damn James for being so well built from Quidditch, and loose blue jeans that hung off of his slender hips.

He slowly placed everything away in a sleepy way, he was tired but also at the same time thankful that it was supper time already and that no one was in their tower at the moment. He needed the rest and quietness that he very well deserved after the month he went through.

Finish up with his small chores, Remus changed into pajamas and went to brush his teeth before curling up on his bed, underneath the blanket. He hugged the second pillow to his chest and closed the curtains surrounding his bed. He stared at the closed curtains, liking the darkness of his small bed, rolling around slightly.

Remus sighed and finally decided to lie on his bed, staring at the top of the canopy bed. He stretched and sighed in content, curling up on his side once again and felt his eyelids grow heavier by the second until he gave up the useless fight for consciousness and fell defeated, into the arms of beautiful sleep. For now, he could pretend that nothing was wrong and fall into the land of dreams. Thankfully, his dreams were kinder to him than the real reality world that he lives in, but in the end, it's just that, dreams only...never reality...

Sirius would never be his to claim...

* * *

Sirius glanced around the Common Room, trying to spot his amber eyed friend. Where could have gone?! Remus usually doesn't just skip class for the hell of it, so what could he have gone to?

Growling quietly under his breath, Sirius ran his eyes over the Common Room more slowly, hoping to find at least one glimpse of his quiet friend. Once again he failed in his task, only growing more irritated by the second...no harm could have been done to Remus could there? Sirius shook his head angrily and ran his hand through his midnight black hair, trying to clear his head of the stupid ideas that were running through them to make up excuses for Remus's absence from the usually cheerful Marauders.

Sirius breathed in deeply and exhaled, trying to calm his raging temper down. He should be trying to find Remus! Not just standing here like an idiot and looking around the room, but then again where could Remus have gone?! For one, Sirius had ran around the whole school trying to find him and could find anything that could lead him to where Remus was. And even between classes, he ran out of the classes so fast at the end of one class to run towards the next one, hoping to see Remus calm, smiling face, only to be disappointed yet again.

Well guess what? Sirius was tired of being disappointed and he was going to find Remus no matter what anyone says. Sirius bit his lip gently and leaned against the wall near the portrait hold, balancing his bag of books and the pile of homework that was meant for Remus, trying to figure out where Remus could have went without telling any of his friends.

The idea of Remus having a girlfriend flashed into his mind before he shook his head quickly, nah...he hasn't seen Remus with any girls around him...well 'cept for this one girl, what was her name again? Sirius frowned and his eyebrows furrowed together in concentration before he blinked. Wasn't it that Ravenclaw smartass, Minnie?

Sirius sneered, feeling his temper flare up another notch for some odd reason. He couldn't stand the thought of Remus going out with someone and not even telling his own friends...or was it that he couldn't stand the fact that Remus was interested in someone else? Blinking quickly, Sirius gasped softly, shaking his head in disbelief...oh Merlin, even the idea sounded absurd...

Or is it...? Is he really jealous of Minnie Rice?

* * *

Sirius muttered quietly, only few parts of it being able to be heard by others passing him while he traveled up the stairs silently, lost in his thought while he walked up to the 7th year boys dormitory.

Rolling his eyes at his own stupidity, Sirius shook his head again and rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to ease away the headache that he knew was coming on. Of course, he was NOT jealous of the not...okay, so fine he didn't even believe himself, but that was beside the point.

He glanced around and smiles charmingly at some of the girls passing by. He decided once and for all to leave it behind to think about later, he had more important things to think about...like the one and only Remus J. Lupin for example.

Continuing his way up the long staircases, Sirius shifted his messenger bag slightly so it wouldn't hurt his shoulder too much and once again got lost in his thoughts, only this time the topic was a lot more different, instead of thinking about a girl and being jealous, he was thinking about his GUY friend and being jealous.

"I'm really pathetic, aren't I?" Sirius muttered to himself, frowning and sighed sadly. "First I go and see Remus cry last month and I just know it was because of me and now I'm arguing with myself about being jealous over a girl because she was practically hanging off of my innocent, oblivious beautiful friend." Sirius quickly blinked, "Beautiful...?"

"Great...now I can't even sort out my own thoughts..." Sirius stopped at the door to the 7th year boys dorm, staring at the door blankly before raising an eyebrow, "I should be more worried about Remus's health than about these stupid things...he's been look quite depressed for a while, I wonder why...and now the stupid teachers is loading him down with homework because James made up that dumb excuse of him being absent because he was sick."

Sirius pushed the door open quietly, not noticing Remus's closed curtains while he kicked off his white sneakers and dropped his black messenger bag onto the floor beside his night stand while dumping the pile of Remus's homework onto his bed, he'll take care of that later...

Sliding onto the bed, Sirius lied down next to the pile of books, sighing and staring at the ceiling of his bed, thinking about his werewolf friend.

_He's been stressing himself out so much lately and doesn't anyone else see it besides me?! I mean usually James is the first to notice something amiss in our small group of friends, but it's like he's just pretending to avoid the topic with Remus. But even I could see that Remus is stressed over something practically since the first day we came into Hogwarts! He hasn't been doing his homework as well and has a ton of homework due by tomorrow because those bastards called teachers couldn't give a sick student a break..._

Sirius blinked in surprise when a thought ran through his mind...

_Wait...Remus's been acting up lately since the day I started to hang around Jeanne...is that the reason why he's so stressed? But why?!?! I mean we're just friends and nothing more, the flirting was just for fun and I know that it was wrong to tease him like that after James's lecture, but he must have known that it was just for fun...didn't he? Oh Merlin, don't tell me he thought it was for real...is that why he was crying the other day? Because I was with Jeanne?? And today too...! He just rushed out of the Great Hall after Jeanne came over...Is it really her fault that Remus is getting stressed and hurting himself without realizing it?_

Groaning, Sirius curled up on his side, closing his eyes tightly. "Goddamnit...this is all too confusing for me! Why couldn't Merlin be more kind?" After lying there for a while, Sirius sighed and opened his eyes, blinking at the sight of Remus's closed curtains. He sat up slowly and slid off of his bed, walking over Remus's bed cautiously.

* * *

Under the covers, Remus curled up more, his werewolf hearing picking up Sirius's quiet footsteps easily. He pulled his blanket over his head and huddled underneath, wishing that Sirius would just go away. He didn't feel like putting up with him for now, he was too tired of the world for now...maybe if Sirius gave him a couple more days, maybe then he might have recovered enough to come back into the social world, but for now, he just wished for everyone to leave him alone...

Remus bit his lip hard when he just heard the steps come towards his bed and stop right outside his curtains. Almost shaking in anticipation, Remus refused to open the curtains before Sirius...

_I don't want to talk right now...especially after rushing out of the Great Hall without hardly any excuse, he probably thinks I'm all weird now and really does need to go to a mental asylum or something...I'm so stupid, actually believing him when he was flirting with me. He probably just thought of it as another joke...too bad he doesn't know how much it hurts me when he goes with Jeanne and talks to her. He hardly even talks to me any more! The only things we practically say to each other are hello, bye, hi and to ask questions in classes only...it's nothing like before. I wish everything would just go back to normal...before all the fake flirting and Jeanne..._

Remus blinked his eyes open and gasps silently before covering his face with both of his face, biting his lip, Remus shook his head underneath the cover. When did he become such a horrible person? It was Sirius's own free will to be with Jeanne, he should be blaming an innocent person like Jeanne because of his jealousy at her relationship with Sirius, but after all the thinking about him being horrible, the last thought that would always wander into his mind was the wish for everything to return back to normal...to the way they were before Jeanne came into the picture and ruined his happiness with Sirius.

* * *

Sirius swiftly and almost silently pulled the curtains apart to reveal the curled up small bundle underneath the blankets. Raising both his eyebrows slowly, Sirius leaned over the bundle and smiled cutely, pulling the blanket down teasingly slow, revealing his auburn hair second by second until Remus was blinking up at him.

Quickly he blinked in shock at Remus's red eyes, biting his lip, Sirius leaned closer and frowned, cupping at Remus's cheek, making him face him instead of looking away.

"Remus, what happened...?"

Shaking his head, Remus just curled up more and pushed Sirius's hand away from his face weakly. "Leave me alone, Sirius...."

"No! I looked around the whole damn school for you and I will goddamn know why my friend is crying in bed by himself and skipped classes when he's not this type of person...!"

"Be quiet Sirius! You don't know who I am and you won't ever know!" Remus gasped and covered his lips, shutting his eyes tightly and curled up on his side, weakly whispering to Sirius, "I'm sorry, Sirius...you don't know me, you won't know me...actually I don't even think you want to get to know me do you...?" _Because if you know me...you would know how deeply I'm in love with...I know it's a selfish thing to want you all to myself, but love is selfish isn't it...?_ Chuckling softly, Remus smiled bitterly at Sirius, "Just leave me alone, Sirius..."

Frowning quickly, Sirius leaned down and grabbed Remus's small wrists in his hand, blinking at how thin they were, noting to himself silently to make Remus eat more, Sirius released one of Remus's wrist to wipe away the tears from Remus's cheek with his thumb. "No...I'm not about to give up on you even if you want me to Remus. Stop thinking like you're not worth anyone's time! You're Remus and yes you're worth something to me. You're one of my closest friends, Rem! I'm not about to give you up just because you told me to do so!" Shaking his head angrily, Sirius glared down lightly at Remus, saying everything firmly, not one word missing his confidence.

Smiling bitterly almost in a defeated way, Remus pulled his wrist away from Sirius's hold. He shook his head and turned away from Sirius, "I know...I thank you for even thinking of me Sirius..." He whispered softly, keeping his voice from shaking when the tears fell from his eyes to drip down sideways down his cheek onto his pillow. "Please let me be alone for a while, Sirius..."

Staring at his friend quietly, Sirius sighed and frowned, backing away, closing the curtains quietly, "Alright..." He murmured right before he closed the curtains.

Smiling bitterly in the darkness, Remus curled up against his pillow, sniffling quietly and trying to stop the flow of tears. Closing his eyes, one single and last tear fell from his wet eyelashes down his cheek.

_That's just it Sirius...all I am is a friend...you even said it yourself, nothing but friends..._

* * *

AN: Like it? –smiles and winks- well review people!! –giggles like a maniac- lolz just R&R! 


	9. Chapter 9

Love Me, Love Me Not

Chapter 9

Author's Note: Oh my God, I finally got this thing out hahaha. Sorry everyone ;; I've been caught up in life and you should know how hard it is to get motivated enough to actually write. Add to that, I'm quite bad when it comes to writing lmaooo. But THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH for staying with me, well sorta. But please read this, I'll try to get the next chapter out sooner than 10 months xD. I love you all for reviewing! Please keep reviewing, it's actually what motivates me the most to write lolz. Actually I've been meaning to write this chapter for a while after I saw someone review me after I didn't get a review for a while - so keep reviewing! MWAHS MWAHS I love you all…(can you tell im a bit hyper? Haha)

Special thanks to: chaeli.meep., Egnima, catseye348, Mahia, Skyla Gerdes, Jasmine Porter, karo karolinesympatico.ca, Hobey-ho, Lena, AfMO, Celi, blackdragonofdeath13, Anna-Malfoy, Sullen Shadowhawk, Hannio, Lynn lampshadesrgreat, Q.T Starrrr, Ralza, tigermilk, Goddess of the sacred river, marauders-style, Moony, MissME, D.Mo, Mandy Lupin-Black, Plushii. (hahaha thank you for all your reviews! These are people you reviewed me from the first chapter till now. I'm so sorry I didn't do this earlier . But Thank You! Love you all!)

* * *

The next day came too quickly for Remus who stayed up all night, contemplating his relationship with Sirius. He thought so hard on it, that when morning came, he earned himself a huge migraine for his efforts. But his efforts were wasted, because he finally came up with the answer. He, Remus J. Lupin, and Sirius Black were nothing more than friends and that was what he'll try hardest to preserve. He would rather lose a part of his heart than to cut all ties that kept him close to Sirius, off.

However, Remus didn't know that there was another person who stayed up just as long as he did, analyzing their relationship as well. This person was, of course, Sirius Black. He was wondering what he did to have saddened Remus enough that the other teen wouldn't even look at him once. But enough was enough, Sirius refuse to give up on his best friend just like that. If he had to fight for Remu's attention, he was going to do just that. Damn what his friend thought, he's NOT going to let their relationship get ruined.

With these new goals in their minds, Remus and Sirius set off to face the world once again, only to realize that they were dead tired from the lack of sleep. But then again, if they wanted to straighten out their problems sooner, they would have to get off their arses and face it sooner.

So, Remus finally rolled off his bed, completely exhausted and with his hair sticking in odd directions from rolling around on his bed too much during the night. He walked to the bathroom slowly, rubbing his eyes and yawning throughout the short walk from his bed to the bathroom. Funny how the person he thought about all night decided to walk to the bathroom right then as well.

Sirius, who looked like he had a fight with Jeanne's dark eye shadow from the looks of the rings underneath his eyes, blinked back at Remus in surprise, staring at him before frowning slightly and looking away silently, not knowing what to say even though he had thought of this moment every waking hour in his last night.

"I…Remus…" Sirius sighed and rubbed his face tiredly, glaring at his floor for his pathetic act in front of Remus.

"Sirius…I…" Remus sighed quietly and made a cute pouty face at his frustration at not being able to get his message through to his friend.

"I'mreallysorryRemmyIdidn'tmeantodowhateverIdidtoyou.DamnitIdon'tevenknowwhatIdid!" Sirius burst out, muttering in a fanatic voice, gripping his friend's shoulder as he shook him once in a while between words, shaking his head as he spoke to Remus in one breath.

Blinking in surprise, Remus stared at Sirius, frowning and wincing when the grip got tighter before pushing at Sirius's chest slightly. "Sirius…It hurts…" He murmured, rubbing his shoulders once his friend finally released them. "Now, what was it that you were saying?" Remus looked up at Sirius quietly, biting his lip, hoping that what he thought Sirius said was true and wasn't just a joke to hurt him even more.

Sirius frowned and ran his hand through his hair, finally looking straight in his friend's eyes. "That I'm sorry…" He crossed his arms, making him look like a frustrated child of four rather than a teenager of seventeen years. "I didn't mean to do whatever I did to you." Sirius sighed and leaned against the wall, closing his eyes quietly. "I mean, I don't even know what I did Remmy. That's what's eating me the most. I can't, for the life of me, figure out what I did to make you not even want to see me, let alone touch me…"

Frowning weakly, Remus reached out a hand to cup Sirius face before clenching his hand and pulling away, shaking his head. _I already said I wouldn't do anything…_ "It's not your fault Sirius, you don't need to apologize. I was…just going through some issues that I would rather not talk about." He smiled warmly at his friend who opened his eyes and looked down at him.

"You're not lying?"

Remus shook his head in reply, keeping his eyes on Sirius's.

"Really? You mean that?" Sirius smiled slightly, his eyes brightening a bit from the dull way he looked the last few days.

"Yes…Of course" Remus smiles back, even though it was a small, weak smile, Sirius drew his friend into a tight hug, happy to at least to see a part of his old Remus, even if it was only a small piece of the normally composed, quiet teen. Remus blinked in surprise and bit his lip, placing his hands delicately on Sirius's back, afraid that this was a dream that would vanish suddenly if he hugged Sirius back with as much strength as the ebony hair boy was hugging him.

"I'm so happy I can kiss you and actually tell everyone." Sirius chuckled and joked, grinning at his friend as he stood back up to his full height, his arms still slightly wrapped around Remus's shoulders.

"Aah…" Remus's smile faltered slightly, the old ache in his chest coming back at the statement. "But that would never happen…" He murmured and pushed Sirius's arms off his shoulders before walking into the bathroom silently.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at the comment and shook his head, trailing in behind his friend, going to one of the four sinks to brush his teeth and at least make himself presentable to the others. "Are you planning to do anything today, Remmy?"

"Mmm, no, not that I know of."

"Want to go to Hogsmeade? You and me only?" Sirius looked in the mirror, staring at Remus quietly. "…Like it used to be, without James and Peter to annoy us?"

Frowning, Remus leaned against the sink, his hands resting at the edge of the sink as he stared down at the counter in front of him. "I…don't you have Jeanne to go with you?"

"I don't want her to come, I want **you** to come, Rem." Sirius frowned, his eyes darkening slightly from his frustration at this new person in his friend. "Can't we? I want to get away from all of this…I want things to be the way it used to be between us Remus…We hardly talk anymore!"

"It's not MY fault, Sirius!" Remus snapped back, staring up at the mirror, right into Sirius's eyes.

Raising an eyebrow sharply, Sirius frowned darkly. "Are you implying it's my fault?"

"I'm not implying anything! I'm just saying…it's not my fault."

"I didn't mean to make it sound like I was blaming you."

"Well it did…" Remus sighed and closed his eyes. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just tired and sick of everything."

"Sick of what?" Sirius tilted his head slightly and turned to face Remus, staring at him intently.

"Of…of EVERYTHING!" Remus cried out, shaking his head. "I'm sick of not being around you, I'm sick of Jeanne clinging to you, I'm sick of every goddamn thing that I want to say that just won't come out when I see you!" He slid down to the floor, hugging his body with his arms as he shook from quiet sobs.

Blinking in complete surprise, Sirius could only gape as his friend as Remus continued to cry quietly. "I…don't know what to say, Remus." He shook his head and bent down, reaching out to Remus only have to his hand slapped away.

"You don't know what to say?" Remus laughed bitterly and stood up. "Then I'm sorry for ever saying that, for actually thinking to confess to you. To actually WANT to be with you. After all that I've gone through for you…all you have to say is that you don't know what say?" He cried out and glared at Sirius through his tears. "Merlin, what was I thinking?" Shaking his head, Remus backed away from his longtime friend. "I-I actually thought this morning that their might be some chance for us, but I guess I know for sure now there we can't be lovers nor friends…"

Sirius stared and reached out again, noticing the pang of hurt in his chest from Remus's words. "Why not?"

"Because I'll just want you more and more; I can't stop myself, even if I know I have to! I can't live like this Sirius, knowing that you have someone else…knowing that you love someone else, that you need HER, and not ME!" Remus turned around and pulled the door open before walking out and pulling on his clothes messily and storming out of the room before Sirius could comprehend what he said and move to stop him.

"Remus…" Sirius muttered and frowns, staring at the door Remus exited through. "I never knew…Merlin, I never knew…"

"Never knew what?"

Sirius blinked in surprise when James popped his head into the room. "Dear Merlin!"

James smirked and shook his head, pulling off the invisibility cloak, folding it up and placing it on his bed before lying down on his bed, yawning. "Well? What don't you know?"

"It's nothing important…" Sirius mutters and sat down on James's bed, staring at his friend quietly. "It's just something me and Rem have to work out."

"Aah, I see…well I hope you make the right decision when it comes to Remus, my friend. Because I definitely know he's not one for second chances on things that are important to him."

"Yeah, I know, that's what's making this decision so hard."

James chuckled and sat up, patting Sirius's shoulder. "It's alright…You'll see the answer sooner or later." He stood up and walked to the door. "Mmm, by the way, I saw the whole thing with Remus running out…" James pointed to the invisibility cloak before waving and walking out. "I'll be out for a bit…take your time thinking, Siri."

"Yeah, I'm sure I will…" Sirius murmured back, waving distractedly at his friend while lying down on the bed, his mind once again drifting off to the subject that seems to occupy his mind all the time now. (AN: AKA REMUS XD)

* * *

AN: AAAH I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LATENESS . But how was it? Good or bad? Personally I view everything I write as bad ;; please prove me otherwise hahahaha xD Review please! Reviews are much apprecirated. Thank you! And don't mind any grammar or spelling mistake, I don't really read over my writings… Oh and people who want to translate this story to any other language and give me credit for it and whatever, email me at 


	10. Chapter 10

**Love Me, Love Me Not**

**Chapter 10**

**Author's Note:** Heeeeeeey, how is everyone? I hope you guys had a nice Christmas break and a nice new year. Lolz sorry that I haven't been updating lately, but a lot of things have been happening lately. I just came back from vacation and my brother is now GETTING MARRIED. I cant believe it myself haha I mean, out of no where he's getting married; it's kinda weird to have a sister in law all of a sudden. But it's not too bad since she's pretty cool haha. She's like my friend more than my sister in law but whatevers, I like her so it's all cools with me haha.

And as you can all see, I sort of changed the format of the way I write lolz I'm following the way I write with my friend in our story for Cardcaptors. It's easier to read this way lmaoo. So anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I thought it was okay, but there's gonna more to be coming! Hopefully you guys haven't given up on this story already haha, I promise ill try to update more.

Special thanks to all the people who reviewed me. Oh and whoever wants to translate this story into another language should just email me cuz im very forgetful haha sorries everyones.

**Present**

Remus looked up from his slight mental breakdown, shaking his head to clear his mind. He was tired of remembering old, forgotten memories; especially after it had been buried in the dark for so long. Remus pushed himself off of the wall and stood straight before glancing over at his son and smiling slightly. The boy was so innocent, he shouldn't know about his father's past…It was nothing a boy like Xavier should know about, at least not yet.

Remus smiled weakly to himself and walked over to his son, pulling the blankets up and tucking Xavier in more. He smiled and leaned over, kissing him on the forehead just as he did so many years already before standing up straight and walking out of the door, planning to get ready for some visitors that goes by the names, James and Lily.

Shaking his head, he sighed and ran his hand through his hair, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply to calm himself after getting so many flashbacks. When he felt calm enough to move around without shaking, he started towards the kitchen to start his breakfast while cleaning his home with a simple wave of his wand.

After a while, Remus glanced up at the muggle clock that Lily gave him for last Christmas. Frowning at the time he saw, he thought again of how time really do fly by. Just as the time he had with Sirius flew by…if only he could have captured that moment and never let go. Then again, he had enough of reminiscing about the past; after all, here he was…without Sirius.

Tired of his train of thought, Remus gave a few more waves of his wand to finish up the breakfast he made before going out to his living room to sit and read a book while waiting for his two old best friends to come by.

OOOOOO

Happily smiling at her husband, Lily grasped his hand in hers as he drove down the familiar street to Remus's home. It has been a few months since she last saw her friend and she was hoping that he was doing well. Then again, Remus was never a fellow that looked healthy once in his life…

Blinking in surprise, Lily shook her head and smiled sadly, looking out the window. No, she was wrong, there was a time that Remus looked brighter than the sun, and more carefree than an innocent child, but that time with Sirius has ended it hasn't it? It has reduced her friend to an even worse depressed state than he had ever been before that time.

She bit her lip gently and closed her eyes, leaning back in the seat of her comfortable car. It really was her wish to see Remus happy, but every time she had tried to get him together with someone, Remus always seemed to have an excuse; either it being him not liking the guy or the guy wasn't someone that Remus wanted his son to see his own father get involved with. Frowning, Lily thought back to that time before blinking her eyes open slowly when the car jerked to a stop.

"Are we there already, James?"

Glancing over, James smiled and nodded, giving his wife's hand a gentle squeeze, "Mmm believe it or not, we are." He sighed and glanced over at the small but cozy looking home. "I still don't get why we can't just simply apparate here, Lils."

"It's the feeling! It's the feeling of the country side; we can't just go and destroy that feeling." She pouted, answering him back defiantly, causing him only to sigh and step out of the car tiredly.

"Of course, of course, whatever you say, my one and only love."

"Good." Lily smiled playfully before stepping out of the car as well and standing up, stretching out and breathing in the cold, crisp air. "I love this place…it's beautiful…" She smiled, "And it suits our Moony just perfectly doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does." James replied back, staring at the house before walking around the car, taking his wife's hand. "Now, enough admiring Remmy's home, I might start thinking you like this place more than our own home." He pouted and walked to the front door.

Lily laughed and shook her head, "You know I can't…any place with you is the best place ever." She leaned over and gave him a sweet, innocent kiss on the cheek; just like the kind they used to share in their Hogwart days.

"I'm definitely happy to hear that." James grinned and knocked on the door, wrapping an arm around Lily's shoulders, holding her close while waiting for the door to open.

OOOOOO

Waking up suddenly from his small nap, Remus pulled off his reading glasses and rubbed his eyes, frowning and standing up quickly, setting the book and the glasses on the coffee table in front of him. "Coming, coming!"

He unlocked the locks on the door and opened it, blinking and smiling at the sight of his friends. "James…Lily" Remus practically breathed out, sighing in relief, feeling completely at ease in his friends' companies.

"Is that the only kind of greeting we get nowadays, Rem?" James joked and wrapped an arm around his friend, pulling him in for a hug between him and his wife.

"Hmm, did you get skinner, Remus?" Lily frowned up at him and glares slightly, not liking the idea that her friend is once again neglecting herself. "Really, Remus, every time I come over here, you just seem to get skinner. I really need to fatten you up."

"Aah, no it's alright, Lily…" Remus smiled quietly, glancing between his two friends. "It's good to see you two so well."

"Thank you, Remus, but really…you have to take better care of yourself." Lily answered back, frowning as she stepped into the warm house with James, pulling off her coat.

Sighing, Remus shook his head and smiled weakly, "I'm fine, Lily. I've told you this millions of times." He frowned and ran his hand through his hair, locking the front door. "It's just that a lot of things have been happening lately…" Remus murmured, looking down at the floor, almost getting lost in his thought before snapping out of it. Glancing up, he smiled a bit brighter at James and Lily. "Let me go get you some drinks."

"Things? What things?" Lily looked up at her friend, raising an eyebrow as she walked into the kitchen with Remus, leaving James to hang up their coats.

"Just things…"

"What kind of things?"

"Unimportant things."

"It wouldn't be unimportant if you mentioned it." Lily frowned and stares at her friend, crossing her arms and tilting her head. "Well? What is it, Rem?"

Remus stood up and closed the refrigerator door, placing the box of juice on the countertop before reaching up for three glasses in the cabinet quietly. "It…it involves Xavier." He murmured, setting the cups down next to the juice.

"Xavier?" Lily frowned more and walks over towards Remus. "What's wrong with Xavier?"

"He wants to know who his father is, Lily." Remus answered back, leaning against the counter, his head down as he closed his eyes, trying not to think about Sirius again.

"Oh…" Lily barely breathed out, biting her lip as she placed a hand on her friend's shoulder, rubbing gently. "Maybe…it's about time you tell Xavier about him."

"I was thinking of that too, but…" He glanced at Lily, the pain evident in his eyes. "But I don't know how to tell him about Sirius." Remus whispered, biting his lip when he whispered out his ex-lover's name.

Staring into Remus's eyes, Lily continued to try to comfort Remus. "You can do it, Remmy. I know you can…"

Remus smiled back slightly and started to pour the juice into the cups. "Thank you, Lily…I'll try to tell him."

Lily smiled and nodded, letting go of Remus's shoulder and picking up two cups, walking out with him to the living room. "That would be nice. If you need help, James and I can help out too."

"Would you do that?" Remus glanced at Lily.

"Course!" She smiled in return. "Just call out Xavier…I can tell him a bit of my story too. Make it seem like we just want to talk to him though."

Remus tilts his head before nodding slowly and changing directions, going to his son's room instead.

OOOOOO

"Xavier?" The auburn hair man knocked on the door softly, opening it as he stepped in almost silently. "Are you awake?" Remus smiled and stepped over to the bed, placing the cup onto his son's nightstand as he leaned over the bed, shaking Xavier's shoulder slightly. "Ex, wake up…James and Lily wants to see you."

"Hn…" Xavier frowned and turned in his sleep, pulling the covers up more. "Five more minutes, dad…"

Shaking his head, Remus sat down on the space on Xavier's bed. "Xavier, wake up."

Xavier groaned in return and pouts, turning over, "Do they really need to see me that badly?"

"Yes." Remus stared at his son, frowning. "Now, come on, wake up and put on some clothes." He stood up and started towards the door. "Be done soon, 'kays?" He looked over his shoulder at his son who nodded in return after seeing the look on his father's face.

"Well that was unusual…" Xavier muttered, frowning and rubbing his eyes sleepily. "He looked way serious, maybe it's something serious they want to talk about?" He stood up and stretched out his muscles, yawning and going for his t-shirt and loose jeans, pulling them on tiredly.

OOOOOO

Lily frowned at James and leans back against the couch. "Just don't mess this up for Remus, he really wants Xavier to know now."

"I won't, I won't, I promise." James sighed and ran his hand through his hair messily. "Stop looking at me like that, Lils." He pouted adorably. "C'mon, I know how important this is for Remus, so I won't ruin it. I'll just sit here and shut up and let you do the talking."

Nodding, Lily smiled and kissed her husband on the cheek. "Good then." She sighed and glanced over the doorway. "Thank Merlin we didn't bring Harry over today…"

"Yeah, he doesn't need to know this until Xavier tells…"

Raising an eyebrow, Xavier frowned and stopped in the doorway, tilting his head at his father's two closest friends. "Tell what?"

"Oh! Xavier!" Lily laughed and stood up, going to hug him tightly. "It's good to see you and my, how have you grown." She stares at him, looking him up and down. "I think you're taller than Harry."

"I am?" Xavier blinked before shaking his head quickly. "Wait, wait, what were you two talking about earlier?" He frowned and looked between James and Lily stubbornly.

_Well he certainly got this trait from Siri…_James ran his hand through his hair again, pointing towards the couch across from where he and Lily are sitting. "Sit down and Lily will explain."

"…Alright then." Xavier frowned and sits down on the couch slowly, not knowing what was going to happen.

"Well…I heard you wanted to find out about a certain someone?" Lily tilts her head. "I'll tell you about him if you want…to help Remus out." She frowned. "You shouldn't stress your father out with those questions of yours as well." Lily reprimanded Xavier before sitting down in her seat again, licking her lips.

"I know…but I just wanted to know about Sirius." Xavier whispered.

"Which is the reason why James and I will be helping your father out." Lily nodded, glancing at her husband. "Sirius…was someone very close to all of us." She started out, frowning. "Let's just say that your father and he were, well…" Lily sighed and closed her eyes. "They were closer than most would have thought…" _Remus loved him so dearly…_

**Past**

In the noon of the day, a young redhead stepped out into the cool air of the October day. She sighed and shielded her eyes from the bright sun's rays with her hand. It was quite a warm day for a day so late into the month already.

She started walking towards the lake, still looking around the large field around her school, Hogwarts. It seemed as if she was looking for something, or rather…someone. After all, something happened that neither she nor James have expected to happen. She and James never would have thought Sirius and Remus would get into such a serious fight.

Sighing, Lily frowned to herself, looking down momentarily at the ground. She only wished Remus and Sirius could have gotten together without any trouble, but so many things seemed to be standing against them; if only Jeanne wasn't in the picture to complicate things even further. She shook her head and stopped her train of thought. If she was going to think about the things going on in the love triangle then she was going to be standing there until the next day.

Besides, Lily had a purpose of finding Remus and finding out what really happened since James was only able to hear the small bit at the end. But that small bit was more than enough to tell the couple that something was wrong with their best friends' relationship, which in turn, led Lily once again back to where she was at the moment; outside, trying to find the auburn hair boy she called practically her best friend.

Lily stopped suddenly when she finally spotted the frail boy resting in his favorite spot, the place underneath the large tree beside the lake. She watched as he stretched out, resting his back against the trunk of the tree and sighed. The area around his eyes were slightly red, indicating he was crying before she came. Lily frowned at the thought before stepping closer and biting her lip.

"Remus?" She called out softly and walked closer, placing a carefree, innocent smile on her face before moving to sit down next to him.

"Lily…" Remus murmured back, looking away from the redhead and staring out at the unusually tranquil lake. "Why does everything have to be so complicated…?" He whispered, closing his eyes as he tried to relax against the tree again.

"Everything?" Lily frowned.

"Yes everything, everything that involves Sirius Black and it just seems everything seems to involve him nowadays!" Remus opened his eyes and turned his head to stare at Lily. "Why does everything evolve around him! Why can't I forget him when he hurts me this much?"

Lily stared back her friend, gaping slightly at his questions, speechless as to what to say. It was the first time she saw Remus let down his guards and allow her to actually hear some of his thoughts. "I-I don't know what to say to that, Remus. What happened between you and Sirius?"

Breathing in deeply, Remus bit his lip and pulled his knees up, his arm wrapping around his legs as he rested his head on his knees. "Do you remember how I told you…I had special feelings for Sirius? That, to me, he was special in a different way from you guys?"

"Yes, I remember you telling me something like that before. Does this involve what you said?"

"Somewhat." Remus whispered, sighing quietly, hiding his face in his hand, shaking his head. "I don't know why I did it, but I…I told him how I felt and, I just can't figure out why I was even stupid enough to do so!"

"Maybe you couldn't keep it to yourself anymore." Lily murmured, running her hand up and down Remus's back, comforting him. "Maybe you love him too much to hide it from him any longer."

"But…" He breathed out, chuckling bitterly, shaking his head. "That's not the worse of it…" Remus ran his hand through his hair, looking up at Lily, his eyes dark from the hurt he felt. "The way he accepted my words hurts the most." Biting his lip and placed a hand over his heart. "It hurts so much…I can't bear it Lils."

"Remmy…" Lily reached out and pulled him against her, holding him as a big sister would hold her younger brother when he was in pain. "I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. I never knew you love him this much." She closed her eyes and stared at the lake, feeling Remus's pain seep into her own heart, making it clench tighter. "He'll see what he's missing one day, Remus. I know he would never hurt you without a reason, he must be in shock that's all."

Smiling weakly, Remus hugged Lily back; the words he wanted to say were getting stuck in his throat, not being able to escape. He breathed in shakily as he tried not to cry for the hundredth time of the day, but he couldn't help his eyes blurring up with tears that he refused to let go. "I loved him…so much, that's what makes everything hurt so much. For him to say that he never knew; that he never paid enough attention to see all the things I went through for him. The pain I felt as he and Jeanne were together. Maybe, he never paid enough attention to me at all to notice."

Lily sighed quietly and continued to hug Remus to her, running her fingers through his long hair. "He will come to see how important you are to him. If you ask me, I always see him stare you more so than he does with Jeanne. The guy just doesn't realize how much he needs you just yet." She smiled and backs away slightly, wiping away Remu's tears gently. "Just stick in there, you know how Sirius is. He might be bright in class but he's not really all that smart when it comes to relationships. He's just like James if you ask me." Shakes her head and smiled weakly. "Just don't cry, alright Remmy? It hurts me and James to see you in so much pain. Now come on, it's cold, let's go inside."

Nodding quietly, Remus wiped his tears away with the sleeves of his extra large t-shirt, shivering just now when he started to notice how cold it was without a jacket. "I'll try, Lily. It just hurts." He murmured, starting to stand up when Lily pulled him up.

"Try to do what?" Lily raised an eyebrow and walked to entrance to Hogwarts.

"Stop crying…and give up on Sirius." Remus smiled. "I was thinking about it today, but then I saw him and this all happened." He mutters and looked up to Hogwarts, rubbing his arms to warm up.

Lily blinked and stops slightly before nodding. "Um…aah, I think the giving up part is kind of extreme don't you think so?"

"No." Remus replied firmly. "He has Jeanne."

"But, Remus."

"No buts, I've made up my mind about Sirius. He's not going to be the source of my pain anymore." He answered back, stepping into Hogwarts.

Sighing, Lily shook her head and closed the door behind them, biting her lip. "If you say so…I just don't think it's a good idea to suddenly give up on him. You don't even know what he thinks about the whole thing."

"I know that he doesn't like me and I believe that to be enough." Remus replied firmly before stepping away from Lily. "Anyways, I'm going to wash up a bit, Lily. I'll see you at dinner." He smiled, trying to show her how strong he was, but his eyes told her otherwise.

Lily nodded quietly before glancing away. "What has Sirius done? I need to tell James." She started towards the Gryffindor Common Room while Remus went to the Prefect's bathroom. "How are we going to get Remus and Sirius together again?"

Lily continued on her way, that question haunting her the whole time she walked to the Common Room, in search of her playful boyfriend, needing to tell him how serious the situation has turned out to be. "Oh James…we need to do something…and we need to do it fast." Lily whispered to herself.

OOOOOO

AN: Enjoyed it? Review me then! haha


	11. Chapter 11

**Love Me Love Me Not**

**Chapter 11**

**Author's Note: **Hahaha I'm in shock that I actually got this chapter done…mmm I've been so busy lately with out of the states relatives coming over to visit and my family having to accommodate them. Add to that, I had to finish my regents and finals for High School. Lmao actually I still have one tomorrow, but nevermind, I had the urge to write and hopefully it's alright. I'm so sorry that I didn't get this out sooner, but hopefully you'll be able to enjoy it. Remember to review! I want to know if this story is getting better or worse.

THANK YOU for all your reviews, I love you all! MWAS Now for the next chapter…

OOOOO

**Past**

"James!" Lily called out as she ran into the Common Room, she glanced around uncertainly before biting her lip and walked towards the Boys Dormitories.

"Where is this guy when I want to see him?" Lily sighed as she walked up the stairs until she reached James's dorm, knocking on the door quietly and waiting for an answer. When none came, Lily opened the door and stepped in, glancing around unsurely until she spotted her boyfriend. "JAMES!"

James jumped suddenly at the shout. "Aah, Lily." He smiled weakly at her furious expression before sighing and walking towards her. "What did I do wrong now? I seriously didn't mean to turn Snape's hair pink today! _That_ I swear was an accident! The wand just went berserk on its own." He pouted and tugged at the sleeve of her robe. "Maybe the wand hates him as much as I do. If that's the case, it's totally not my fault for all those times I pulled a prank on him…mm even the wand hates him, I'm amazed …Wait, Lily are you okay? You look pale."

Lily shook her head and bites her lip, breathing in deeply to calm herself down. "It's Remus."

"What about Remus?"

"I don't know! That's what I wanted to ask you!" Lily bit her lip and shook her head. "He was acting really weird when I saw him earlier. It was almost as if he was walking around in a daze." She sighed and ran a hand through her hair as she sat down. "I don't know how to explain it, but I know for sure that it has something to do with Sirius."

"How do you know that?" James raised an eyebrow and sat next to her, growing more serious as Lily continued with her story about her conversation with Remus. Once she was finished, James shook his head and sighed sadly. "I didn't realize it was this serious. Lily, if I knew Remus was going to react this badly, I would have stopped him already."

"What do you mean stop him?" Lily frowned sharply and looked over at James. "You saw him before this whole mess came about?"

"Well, yeah, sort of. He rushed out after this huge fight with Sirius, but he didn't see me." James shook his head and leaned against one of the post of the bed, watching Lily shake her head in sorrow.

"How did the argument go? Was it really that bad?"

"Yeah, Remus rushed out of here, looking like he was going to cry…"

"Do you know really happened because I only got Remus to tell me that he can't love Sirius any longer and that it never meant anything to Sirius."

"Well, it started out with them making up with each other for like a millisecond until Sirius said something stupid and Remus just totally blew up at him. I think it was something about Jeanne…at this part, I couldn't really hear that well because I was standing outside of the door. However, when I stepped in, Remus was saying about something about Sirius never knowing he loved him so much and Sirius just stood there like a dumbass as Remus ran out of the room. Really…I don't know why I call that guy my best bloke when he doesn't even know how to chase after the one thing that could truly make him happy rather than just chasing after some whore that he thinks likes him."

"So that's what happened…" Lily murmurs softly, glancing up from the floor to look at James. "It's all a misunderstanding…Sirius being too much of a player and chasing after a girl while he really loves Remus, yet Remus is now giving up on him because he thinks Sirius never cared for him before, at least not in a lover-like way."

"He thinks that!" Sirius glares at Lily as he stepped out from the bathroom, shaking his head. "I CAN'T BELIVE THIS IS HAPPENING!"

"Sirius!" Lily blinked in surprise before glancing at James. "You knew he was in there weren't you? Why did you let me tell you all that stuff about Remus in front of him?" She glared at him, standing up angrily and pointed at finger at her boyfriend accusingly. "You two are working together aren't you? Just to make Remmy miserable. How can you do this to Remus?"

James gaped a bit and stood up. "I didn't mean any harm…Sirius was already in the bathroom before you had come in and well, he needed to hear these things to know that Remus really cares for him. I wanted to clear all the misunderstandings between the two of them Lil!"

"NO! I know you're trying to help them, but must you really do it this way? There are other ways to solve this situation between them and Remus didn't need Sirius knowing everything about him. I don't want Sirius to hurt Remus anymore."

"I won't! I promise, Lily. At least I won't do it on purpose because… I love him as well." Sirius breathed in quietly and frowns. "I realize that now, I love him more than I can ever love another person. I just wish that he would allow me to express this love for him without running away." Sirius walked over to Lily and grabbed her hand, holding onto it tightly. "I want to hold him the way James holds you. I want to kiss him. I want to do everything with him. I want to share the world I see with him. But I need him to let me into his world first…" Sirius sighs softly, closing his eyes before falling down on his bed and staring up at the ceiling. "What am I going to do…?"

Lily sat down next to James again, watching Sirius. "…Do you love him, Sirius?"

Biting his lip, Sirius nods slowly and stretched out. "I do…Seriously I do."

"Then that's good enough." Lily smiled slightly and stood up again, walking over to Sirius and sitting down next to him, nudging him slightly. "Why don't you go and ask him to go out with you? This time, don't let him mention Jeanne at all. Tell him what you told him…about sharing the hugs, kisses, and the world with him. That should get him to listen long enough." Lily giggled slightly. "Maybe you should even be brave enough and invite him to the Yule Ball, that's only two months away I think."

"The Yule Ball?" Sirius raised an eyebrow and glanced over at Lily. "Mmm, maybe after I get him not to be angry with me anymore."

"Right, go find him. Last time I saw him, he said he was going to go wash up, but I guess he didn't mean the dorms."

Sirius blinked and sat up. "I bet he's in the Prefect Bathroom then" He smirked and glanced over at James. "What's the password, Jamiey my Boy?"

James wrinkled his nose and glares at him. "I hate it when you say that…" He muttered and sighed, leaning back on his hands. "It's Pietra."

"Thanks Jamiey my Boy!" Sirius laughed when James threw a pillow at him. "Alright! Alright I get it" He grinned and walked towards the door. "I'll see you two later!" He waved and walked out of the room, breathing slowly to work up the nerves to go look for Remus. _Hopefully he'll let me see him…_

With that though in mind, Sirius jogged down the stairs and walked towards the Prefects' Bathroom, a small bounce in his feet as he imagined himself apologizing to Remus and getting the young man he always wanted.

OOOOO

**Present**

"…And that's how we got the two of them to apologize to each other…" Lily finished up, breathing in deeply and smiling as she watched Xavier for his reaction. "I'll tell you how they made up later…after we get something to eat" She stood up and walked over to Xavier, ruffling his hair, laughing when he pouted childishly. "I'm starving and I'm sure you are too."

"Hey, what about me?" James pouted and stood up after his wife, walking after her as he wrapped an arm around her waist. "Do I not matter to you now hm? I bet it's all this talk about Sirius and Remus, I swear you care for those two more than you care for your own husband."

Lily smiles softly and kisses him on the nose cutely. "I never said that, you're just assuming it yourself." She tilted her head and hugged him, leaning against him slightly. "Or are you jealous?"

James huffed and looked away. "I refuse to be jealous of two puppies." He glanced back at Lily and pouted. "…Should I be?"

Xavier rolled his eyes before standing up and walking to the kitchen. "Dad…" Xavier grinned and slipped into the seat across from Remus easily, staring down at his breakfast eagerly.

"X, you know it's rude to start your breakfast before your guests." Remus sighed and chuckled quietly as Xavier shrugged and dug into his breakfast quickly. "No need to rush, I made more than needed. And where is those other two?" Remus frowned and crossed his arms.

"Mmm…" Xavier licked his lips slowly and glanced up at his father quietly. "Probably still oozing out their love to each other." He smirked when he heard a light snort from behind him.

"We were not oozing love as he was referring to." James rolled his eyes and sat down at the table. "We were just having a sweet moment with each other."

Remus shook his head. "I highly doubt that, you two ooze a lot of love anyways so I side with Xavier on this." Remus smiled innocently at James when his friend glared at him slightly.

"You're only siding with him because he's your son. That's mean Remmy."

Remus laughed quietly and drank his orange juice. "I'm not and you know that. Or how else could I have put up with you and the others this long hm?"

"He has a point in that James, I think you lost this fight." Lily laughed and glanced between them all, her eyes lingering on Xavier and Remus quietly. _If only Sirius was here, it would have made everything perfect…But I guess we can't wish for everything…that would make the world too perfect. However, I do pray that one day Remus sees Sirius again, they belong to each other…_

Xavier tilted his head and smiled slightly at Lily. "Something wrong, Lils?"

And for that one second, Lily swore that she saw Sirius again.. She smiled weakly and shook her head. "No, nothing is wrong Xavier…I was just… remembering a few things…" She sighed and looked around. "Maybe it's just this house, but every time I come here, I remember old, long gone things." She murmured and stared at Xavier.

Remus smiled softly and nods slowly. "…It's one of the charms of this home." He whispered. "It's why I chose this place…" He breathed in deeply and closed his eyes tightly. _I can remember you perfectly here, Siri…Wherever you are, I hope you can remember this lonely wolf of yours…I miss you…_

OOOOO

**Author's Note**: MWAS again haha if you guys can think of anything else for the story then IM me at Sir LuciusMalfoy. I love to hear your reviews by IMs too!


	12. Chapter 12

**Love Me, Love Me Not **

**Chapter 12**

**Author's Note: **OMG lmaoo haha I got another chapter out! I'm happy lolz I don't know, I feel the ingenious bug of writin keeps hitting me lately mmm I hope you enjoy it! Hopefully I'll be able to crank out some more chapters soon for you to read.

THANK CHUS to everyone to reviewed my fanfic, it makes me feel great to have people review my story. Hehe MWAS TO ALL OF YOUS!

OOOOO

**Present**

Finishing up with dinner, Remus cleared the table off, letting everyone go out to the living room to warm up by the fireplace. Once he was finished cleaning up, he made everyone hot chocolate and handed it out before sitting down next to Xavier on the carpet, leaning back against his couch as he studied the flames quietly.

"Mm..dad…?" Xavier murmured, glancing at his dad before looking at Lily and James. "Lily and James said I should ask you something…"

Remus raised an eyebrow and looked over at his best friends and sighed quietly, smiling slightly at his son. "What is it?"

Before Xavier could answer, James cut in. "And don't think we're up to something Remmy! We're just doing what you asked." He pouted as Lily hit him on the arm for being so loud. "We're going to explain to him how he came into being…well not literally but you know what I mean."

Remus rolled his eyes and nodded. "I know, I know." He chuckled and set his cup of hot chocolate onto the coffee table, stretching his legs out in front of him to get comfortable. "Now, what was it that you wanted to ask me, X?"

Xavier looked down at his cup quietly, frowning to himself. He looked up at his father after a little while, staring into his eyes intently.

Blinking, Remus shook his head and frowned at his own thought of how much Xavier is starting to look like his other father, Sirius.

"Aah..well I just wanted you guys to continue telling me about Sirius." Xavier muttered softly before looking down at the cup in his hands again. "…I don't know how to explain it, but it's almost as if I'm meeting him for the first time…"

Remus stared at his son and nods quietly. "I…should've told you about him earlier shouldn't I?"

Xavier shook his head and smiled slightly. "For some reason, I don't should've. Dad, I understand that you needed to keep him as your secret and I'm really glad that you're finally able to tell me about him now…" He breathed in deeply and let out a sigh. "It's alright that you didn't tell me about him earlier, it makes it better for me to find out myself when I was ready."

Remus smiled gratefully at his son. "Thank Merlin that I have you for a son…"

Lily smiled happily at her friend and his son, blinking when her husband leaned in closer to her. James smiled in return and leaned against her, kissing her on the cheek. "I'm happy that Sirius gave Xavier some of his "Remus-understanding" genes." James whispered, chuckling. "I don't know what Rem would do if Xavier wasn't able to understand him like Sirius was."

Lily nodded and smiled. "I'm glad for that too." She whispered back to James before looking up when Remus began his story from where they left off last time. "Shh…it's time to listen to the past again…" Nuzzling into James, she rested against him and watched Remus tell the story of his past.

OOOOO

**Past**

Sirius ran down the corridors to the Prefects' Bathroom, breathing heavily from running all the way from the Gryffindors' dorms to here. Shaking his head, he ran his hand through his hair and stopped in front of the portrait that was the only barrier between him and seeing Remus.

Blushing suddenly, Sirius shook his head when his mind conjured up images of Remus naked inside there. He sighed and rolled his eyes at his dirty mind. "Really Siri, the last thing Remus needs is mini me prodding at him…" He whispered before muttering the password to the bathroom.

Sirius walked into the bathroom and looked around the foggy room, waving his hand to disperse the fog a bit as he walked into the bathroom, he noticed the scattered clothes lying on the ground. As he continued more into the huge bathroom, he recognized the auburn hair boy sitting across the room with his back to him. Breathing out a sigh of relief, Sirius smiled and walked over to Remus, stepping silently to him.

Frowning, Remus looked up from playing with the foam around him. Sniffing the air silently, he recognized the scent and paled slightly. Tensing up, Remus refused to turn around and busied himself with gathering the foam closer to cover his nude body.

As Sirius stepped closer, he noticed how tense Remus was. He stopped a few feet away from Remus and stared at him, just taking in the beauty before him. Closing his eyes, Sirius planned to forever implant the memory of Remus's figure into his brain. _How couldn't I see how special he was to me before? Damnit, I should have noticed that I couldn't be without him before I started flirting with Jeanne. Stupid me…and now look at what I've done, he can hardly stand being in the same room with me. Ugh, I wonder if he'll believe me if I said I would give Jeanne up in a heartbeat if it meant he would stay with me…Hopefully he won't freak out when I confess to him…_

Sirius took another deep breath in before walking again, closing the complete distance between him and Remus. Kneeling down, he didn't care that the front of his robe was getting wet from the spilt water on the side of the huge bath. "Remus…" He whispered, staring down at the young man in front of him.

Sucking in a quick breath, Remus closed his eyes and ignored any of the emotions that appeared when Sirius called out his name. Instead of answering to the call of his name, Remus opted to ignore it and continue on with his bath. If it meant Sirius would leave him alone in his misery, Remus wouldn't care if he had to ignore Sirius for a lifetime.

Sirius reached out shakily for Remus's shoulder. "Remus…look at me please…" He whispered and leaned down, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Nuzzling into his neck, Sirius inhaled his scent and smiled softly to himself. "I…like you Remmy. A lot actually…more than you think and that's what I was trying to explain earlier before you ran out." Sirius held onto Remus tighter. "I'm sorry I didn't see how you felt about me…maybe I was just in denial about you ever liking me." He sighed and glanced down at Remus. "I'm pretty sure I was in denial about myself liking you too…but after seeing how everything is going, with you avoiding me…I couldn't take it! And I know I need you now, but I need to know how you feel, Rem."

Biting his lip, Remus relaxed underneath Sirius's touch and leaned back against him more. "Everything you say is true…?" He whispered softly, glancing up at Sirius and stared at him, a little mistrust still lingering in his eyes.

Sirius nodded back and ran a few fingers down Remus's cheek when he turned around to face him. "I do…" He smiled weakly as he stared into Remus's eyes, vowing to make the mistrust disappear. "I really do…trust me Remus…"

Remus breathed in deeply and closed his eyes, leaning into Sirius and tugging him closer, his hands clinging onto Sirius's robe. "I want to, I love you Sirius, I would do anything for you." Glancing up, Remus smiled back and cups Sirius's cheek. "I need you, but I don't want to be here when you don't need me…"

Sirius frowned sharply and pulled Remus up towards him, the smaller boy's body almost emerging from the foamy water and he stood with the water up to his waist, his body glistening with the water from his bath. "I need you, now and forever!" Sirius stared down at him intently into his eyes. "And I won't EVER let you thin otherwise." He growled under his breath and leaned down to kiss Remus deeply on the lips, pulling the surprise Remus into his arms.

Getting pulled into the kiss, Remus wrapped his arm around Sirius's body and leaned into him even more. He broke the kiss and smiled cutely at Sirius, flushing brightly when Sirius eyes darkened from lust. "S-Sirius…" He breathed out softly, his body shivering from delight.

Sirius smirked and runs his hand through Remus's hair quietly. "Do you believe me now?"

Remus nodded quickly in return, chuckling in relief as he hugged Sirius again, snuggling into him. He couldn't believe his luck at getting another chance with Sirius. Before Sirius came, he was ready to give everything up and pretend as if his feelings were never here. He leaned in more and clung onto Sirius. "Mmhmm…"

"Good, now should we get you out of that bath and dressed? I don't think it's good for my health to watch you naked like that when I'm not allowed to touch you without facing Lily's wrath." Sirius pouted and stood up, grabbing one of the fluffy towels from the room and handing it to Remus.

Remus laughed and took the towel gratefully and wrapped himself in it before standing up, still blushing from the kiss they shared. "Thanks…"

Sirius grinned at Remus's shy nature before walking over and wrapping his arms around Remus's body easily, pulling him back against him so Remus's back was resting against his chest. "Don't think that she can always protect you Remmy…" He purred and kisses Remus temple. "Mmm, I'm sure I'll break down her protectiveness for you sooner or later."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Let's just see you try." He smiled and tilted his head back to kiss him on the cheek. Pulling away from Sirius, he walked over to his pile of clean clothes and pulling it on quickly. "Let's go, I'm sure that Lily and James is wondering what happened to us."

Sirius nodded and walked out, his arm easily slipping to rest on around Remus's waist, holding him closer and refusing to let him go when they stepped out into the hallway even though Remus objected to walking around like this.

Sirius frowned and leaned down. "I'm not letting you go." He huffed and pouted. "I don't want anyone else looking at you and everyone needs to know who you are with."

Remus sighed and pushed at Sirius's shoulder a little, but he still smiled softly at Sirius's antics. Blinking quickly he realized there was still another matter at hand that they had to get over with. Biting his lip quickly and looked up at Sirius, asking the question that he feared the most. "What about Jeanne?"

Looking down at the ground, Remus knew he didn't want to hear the answer that Sirius was about to give him. He clenched his hands into tight fist as he bit down on his soft lower lips before looking up at Sirius quickly. Even though he didn't want to hear it, he knew that he must hear Sirius's answer, just to settle the doubt he had over his and Sirius's newly formed relationship.

Hearing the question that slipped out of Remus's lips, Sirius's eyes hardened and he shook his head. "Who cares…I have you now, that's all that matters to me." And to prove what he said, Sirius leaned down to give Remus another kiss.

Remus smiled happily into the kiss, not even minding the fact that they were in the middle of the hallway as he leaned into the kiss, feel the fear and doubt he had earlier melt away with the warmth of Sirius's lips and body.

However, unaware to the young lovers, a shadowy figure was staring at them in surprise down the hallway, her books falling out of her hands and onto the floor before she turned and ran away into her room.

OOOOO

The couple stepped into their dorm and grinned at James and Lily. Sirius ran his hand through his hair and winked at James. "I told you I would get him back."

Lily just sighed and slid off of the bed, smiling as she walked over to Remus, taking his hand and pulling him over to the further end of the room, letting the two other boys talk amongst themselves. "Are you sure you want this, Remus?"

Remus nodded and sat down on the windowsill seat, staring out of the window at the setting sun. "Yeah." He smiled and looked over at Sirius, not caring to explain his simple answer.

Lily sat down across from him and smiled sweetly at him, patting his hand gently. "As long as you know what you're doing, I won't stop it." She glanced back at Sirius. "Just don't ever let him take you for granted…I won't let him get away with that." She frowned and looked back at her friend.

Remus shook his head and leaned back against the window's frame. "I'm happy now Lily…and as long as I have him, I'll be happy." He looked from the sun to Lily. "Even if he leaves me now…as long as he leaves me with some happy memories of us being together, I'll be satisfied."

Lily frowned and shook her head sadly. "You say that now Remus, but you freaked out earlier today when he didn't seem to answer to your confession."

Remus bit his lip gently at the memory of his reaction earlier. "I'll just say that reaction happened because I thought I had not chance of having any memories with him anymore, but now that this happened, I'll be happy even if we had to end it."

"If you say so." Lily smiled and stood up, looking down at Remus. "I'm happy for you though Remus, and so is James. We both are glad that you guys worked out your problems."

Remus nodded and smiled at her happily. "Thanks Lily." He blinked and looked over at James and Sirius when he heard his name. "What are you guys talking about?" Remus stood up next to Lily and walked back over. He sat down next to Sirius on his bed while Lily sat next to James on James's bed.

"We were fighting over whether to tell Peter or not." Sirius frowned and huffed. "I said I didn't want to because that rat has no business in our love life while James feels bad for leaving him out in the dark."

"Well maybe we should tell him then. He lives with us in the dorm, he's going to notice it sooner or later, Sirius." Remus frowned.

"Yeah, but I can't stand him and I don't trust him one bit either ugh. I bet he'll just tell everyone about us just to make himself look better for having the new gossip of the school." Sirius growled out, his eyes darkening from anger.

James glared at Sirius. "He's not that bad! And didn't we already agree a bunch of times that he's our friend and that we can't exclude him from things like this, Sirius?"

"I don't like telling him things like this though!"

"He's going to end up finding out anyways, so stop being stubborn and agree to tell him Sirius." James frowned sharply and shook his head. "It's not going to help us to argue about this and just tell him straightforward that you're gay and that you're not going out with Jeanne and the person you want is Remus. Hell, if he makes any commotion about it and disturb you two, I promise to slug him myself, okay? But I don't need to feel guilty for not telling him when he thinks we're his friends and that we're keeping secrets from him…I feel bad enough for him already Sirius."

Sirius frowned and looked down at the floor, shaking his head before sighing when Remus tugged on his sleeve. "Fine, I'll tell him later, but I seriously don't trust the sniveling bastard. He's as bad as Snape!" He looked up at James. "You remember that time he ratted us out on a prank because we didn't let him on it? That pissed me off so badly…and then there was this time he told on you and Lily making out, I bet he did that because he can't get any by himself."

James blinked. "He was the one who told on us that time! How do you know that?"

Sirius frowned. "I thought you knew, I was there when he went to Professor McGonagall and whined to her about you two."

"Seriously?" James frowned sharply. "I never knew that…"

"Well now you see why I don't like him and I don't want to tell him about me and Remus, but if you guys really think I should then I will." Sirius shrugged and glanced over at Remus, reaching out to hold his hand. Smiling again only when Remus leaned into him and held his hand tightly, squeezing it.

Remus smiled and leaned up to kiss him on the lips softly, a small peck. Sirius returned the kiss and as Lily and James watched, their faces both expressing their surprise at the outward affections between the two, no one seemed to notice the person standing outside the door, seething with anger.

OOOOO

**Present**

Glancing at the darkening sky outside, Remus stood up and stretched out his body when he stopped his story for a little. "You guys, I think there's going to be a snow storm." He stepped over to the window, looking around. "Yeah, I can smell the snow coming already." Remus glanced over his shoulder at Lily and James. "What are you two going to do?"

Lily smiled slightly and held onto James's arm with two of her own. "We'll stay here for the night if you allowed it, right James?"

James blinked and nods, shrugging at the same time. "If Remus doesn't mind putting us up for the night."

Remus chuckled. "I don't mind. I'll go get your room set up for you guys, kay?" He started walking towards the staircase that led up to the second floor when Lily and James nodded, smiling with gratitude towards him.

Xavier watched his father leave all of them to make the room. "Did father ever regret getting together with Sirius?" He whispered, moving to sit closer to Lily and James.

Lily shook her head quietly as she smiled sadly. "Not once, he's actually always grateful to the relationship actually. Always says that he loved Sirius and that he would never regret anything, especially when you were the result of their love."

Xavier frowned and looked down at the floor. "But why would he say that? After breaking up with Sirius, he never blamed him once?"

"Not once, Xavier. You have to understand…your dad loved Sirius, even now he still loves him even if we can't tell." James smiled sadly. "Sadly enough, they can't be together…it was just a cruel twist of fate with too many people meddling in their pure love, turning the love into a monster to harm them both."

Xavier frowned sadly as he looked up at the staircase his father left to. "I see…" He sighed quietly before looking out the window, letting his thoughts consume him as the first snowflakes started falling.

OOOOO

**Author's Note:** How did you like it? Was it good? Lolz Review!


	13. Chapter 13

**Love Me, Love Me Not **

**Chapter 13**

**Author's Note:** Wow, I'm amazed that I was able to update this fic. Haha but a certain review that came in recently inspired me to right (including my guilt that I had made you guys wait for so long ahh.) I'm really sorry that I haven't been able to update lately. My life is a mess with school and all…mm those AP classes can really kill someone; seriously. Well I hope you enjoy this chapter! Keep reviewing! The reviews are what keep me going!!

**Present**

Remus walked to the closet in the hallway of the second floor as he tuned out the conversation from downstairs. He sighed to himself quietly, taking the new sheets and a thick blanket out from the closet to set up in the guest room for his best friends.

He hugged the newly retrieved items to his chest as he walked down to the guest room, frowning to himself at the thoughts consuming his mind. Slowly Remus stepped into the guest room, moving mechanically to set up the bed before he sat down on the bed.

_Now that everyone's talking about him…I wonder how Sirius is doing right now, is he well? …I know I shouldn't be thinking of this when he belongs to someone else, but I can't help it…my love for him was cut off so abruptly, it's only possible that I still have lingering feelings for him…_

Remus sighed sadly and looked over to the space next to him, rubbing it gently. He bit his lip when in his mind he imagined the 17-year-old version of his ex-lover.

"I shouldn't be thinking like this…" Remus whispered softly to himself in the lonely room, closing his eyes tightly as his hand clenched tightly at the blanket resting next to him.

As his eyes remained closed, Remus realized that everything that happened to him and Sirius seemed to be flooding back to him. No matter how long ago it was, Remus could remember every details crystal clear…maybe it was the curse of a werewolf to have perfect memory, but right now…all he could think about was the memory of his precious 7th year in Hogwarts…

O

O

O

Downstairs, in the living room, three figures sat quietly, each staring at the dying flames as they waited for Remus to come back down. However, one of them, a certain messy black-haired man couldn't take it any longer and stood up. Frowning, he looked down at his wife and pouted at her.

"I can't take it anymore Lily!" James muttered quickly, glancing up at the stairs. "How long does it take to set up a bloody guest room anyways?"

Lily rolled her eyes and tugged him down gracefully as her husband fell down with a little less grace than hers. "You stay put, right where you are James Harry Potter! You know that Remus is only making it comfortable and besides, you're only fidgety because you can't take silence." She sighed and leaned back in her seat, moving to grab her mug of cold chocolate, taking a sip from it.

"You should be grateful that he's allowing you to stay here." Lily quickly looked up at the stairs that Remus disappeared to, frowning when she felt a little bit uneasy with Remus staying alone with his thoughts, but she knew she had to let him think by himself for a little.

"Well yeah…but I don't like it when Remus takes it upon himself to be alone and to think too much." James frowned and crossed his arms, glancing at Xavier quickly. "It's not healthy to think so much…especially about one subject."

Lily nodded quickly while Xavier looked up at James as if he could feel his stare on his back.

"…If we could get father back for my dad, do you think he'll be happier?" Xavier murmured softly, completely ignoring the earlier conversation since he was lost in his own thoughts.

Blinking in surprise, Lily looked over at James quickly then at the young teen. "What do you mean, Xavier?" She asked, a bit shocked at the question.

"I mean…if I found father and told him to come back, do you think he'll come back and would dad be happy to see him?" Xavier frowned and curled up on the carpet, looking from the flames to Lily quietly.

"Well…if you could find him and get him to come back then yes…Remus would be very happy, but I'm sure there would be some complications." James muttered, tilting his head. "Mmm…it might work though." He smiled; a bit interested with the new idea that Xavier had laid forth for him.

Xavier nodded quietly to himself as he closed his eyes, shielding it from the bright flames.

_Maybe I would have a talk with Professor Black when I go back then…Dad and him have gone through enough from both enemy and friend…That is if Professor Black is the Sirius "Black" that dad has been looking for. _

Silently, Xavier remembered a segment from his father's journal that he had read earlier in his room.

O

O

O

**Past**

A week has past since the time when James, Lily, Sirius, and Remus had all sat together in the boys' room and talked about the future relationship between the new found couple, Sirius and Remus.

From that moment on, it had only been happy, precious moments for Remus and Sirius. Their happiness was so apparent that if someone had looked upon the two, that person would have said that the two were perfect for each other, and they probably were.

Add to that, Sirius frequent touches and kisses had drowned away the depression that Remus had put himself in for the past month due to the relationship between Jeanne and Sirius.

However, not only did the touches and kisses from Sirius help Remus's depression, but it had also allowed the auburn hair teen to open himself up in a way he had not done so for a while. Slowly, but surely Remus was starting to return Sirius's touches and whispers of love. For Sirius, these moments were enough for him to stay a happy man the rest of his life.

All these facts were proven at the very moment as Sirius tried to crawl into Remus's bed, slipping down to lie down next to his lover's sleeping form. He grinned and leaned in, lying on top of the blankets as he kissed Remus forehead, trailing his kisses down to his lips.

Frowning into the kiss, Remus mewed softly as he stretched out underneath Sirius's body, waking up slowly from Sirius's antics. "Mm…Sirius, I'm awake…" He whispered against Sirius's lips as he pushed gently at the chest above him.

Sirius chuckled and reached down, grabbing Remus's wrists and held them in his hands as he continued to giving Remus chaste kisses in between his words.

"All the more better for me." He smirked before diving in and stealing a deep kiss from Remus, leaving the other teen breathless when they parted. He licked his lips slowly, purring and moving down to nuzzle into Remus's neck, nipping gently and holding onto Remus's wrists tighter when Remus tried to struggle out underneath his boyfriend.

"Siri..Sirius! It's morning, stop that…mm I mean it. Aah..stop it! No!" Remus cried out, laughing a bit when Sirius held his wrists in one hand as his other hand trailed down to his side, tickling him a bit while he still sucked at a certain spot on Remus's neck.

Sirius chuckled against the pale skin as he continued to nip on Remus's neck, smirking at the thought of how large the mark will be. When the thoughts became too much for old Sirius's mind, he started snickering, causing Remus to look up at him with suspicion written all over his face.

"What?" Sirius grinned and leans up to laps at the mark, purring in delight at the taste of his lover's skin.

"…You were snickering. And when Sirius Black snickers, nothing ever good comes out of it." Remus sighed and relaxed a bit under the touches; actually he unconsciously leaned into the touches even more.

"Oh? Why would you ever say that Moony? You know I'm an innocent boy." Sirius smirked even more and sat up, straddling Remus's slender hips as he let his eyes rove over the younger boy's body.

"Because…" Remus raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend's actions before blushing lightly when he realized that Sirius was admiring his body. "Stop that." He sat up and pushed lightly, trying to get away from Sirius. Yet Sirius had other thoughts in mind and once again pinned the auburn haired boy down onto the bed, growling playfully.

"Nope, I don't want to let you go to classes today."

"You know that's not possible." Remus eyed Sirius wearily. "I'm not skipping any more classes whether you like it or not, Sirius."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not!"

"When I say you are, you are."

"No."

"Yes."

"No means no!"

"Well yes means yes too, darling. Sorry to burst your bubble." Sirius grinned and nuzzled into Remus's hair.

"I don't care; I'm going to class anyways."

"No."

"Yes I am."

"Can you just admit the obvious? You want to stay here and admire this glorious body of mine, admit it." Sirius leaned over and allowed his hand to roam down to Remus's sides again, proceeding to tickle the teen to death. He chuckled when he realized that Remus was trying to hold his laughter in. "Don't try to fight the almighty Padfoot Power! Admit you want me!"

"S-Stop Sirius!" Remus laughed and rolled over to his side, only allowing Sirius a full view of his neck, thus causing Sirius to go into attack mode on his neck, leaving another large mark on his neck. "Ow, Sirius. Stop that. What are you doing?"

"Mm…marking what's mine." Sirius muttered against his neck before sitting up and looking at Remus with lust apparent in his eyes.

Seeing the darkened eyes, Remus squirmed a bit and finally sat up, pushing Sirius away from him. "Stop joking around Sirius." He bit his lip shyly and smoothed down his clothes as he stepped down from his bed, rubbing his hand against his neck where Sirius marked it.

"I'm not joking. I really don't want others to take you away from me." Sirius murmured and stood up from the bed as well as he wrapped his arms around the slender boy, pulling him closer.

Remus blushed even more and glanced down at the floor before placing his hands over Sirius's with a mixture of happiness and nervous shyness apparent in his actions. "I'm not going anywhere…"

"Yeah, I know, but still…" Sirius said seriously, leaning down to brush his lips against Remus's cheek gently. "You can't see how amazing and beautiful you are, but others can." He huffed and frowned slightly at the thought of someone luring Remus away. "I'm not going to take the chance of not letting someone know that you're with someone already. Especially when you're with ME."

Remus looked over his shoulder and turned around. He timidly tiptoed and stared into Sirius eyes before smiling playfully and squeezing his nose gently. "Let me repeat it for you again: I'm NOT going anywhere without you." He leaned in to kiss Sirius's mouth softly. "So get those thoughts of someone taking me away from you out of your mind." He stared sternly at his lover and raised his eyebrow in his Prefect kind of way. "Got it?"

"Mm fine." Sirius smiled and leaned down to deepen the sweet kiss that Remus gave him earlier. Yet, just when he was swoop down to capture Remus's lips in what he imagined to be a blazing kiss, James popped his head into the room and screamed.

"BLOODY HELL! Don't do that in here!" James cried out, stepping into the room and covering his eyes with his hand as he waved his hand around almost as if he was trying to disperse the image of his two best friends making out.

"Oh shut up James. You ruined their moment!" Lily frowned and whacked her boyfriend over the head, rolling her eyes before glancing at Remus and Sirius, smiling sweetly. "Carry on you two, he is just trying to draw attention to himself."

"What do you mean 'draw attention to himself?'" James pouted, rubbing his head as he leaned against Lily slightly. "I have more than enough attention as it is!"

"Yeah, says you." Lily smiled and shakes her head, not able to conjure up the old emotions of annoyance towards her boyfriend.

"Ah, why are you always so mean to me around these two?" James sighed, glancing at Sirius and Remus. "What ever happened to the sweet Lily of last night? You know when were doing those kinds of things, hugging and kissi-OW!" He winced when a furiously blushing Lily whacked him in the head again.

Sirius just smirked at his friends' display of emotion. "You deserved that one, Potter."

"Shut up, Black." James muttered, glaring at his friend playfully. "Anyways, are you two ever planning to come out from this room? Or will you like us to leave you alone to rot?"

"Please lea-" Sirius started.

"-Don't listen to him…I'll get ready right away." Remus answered quickly, cutting off his boyfriend's answer as he rushed to the bathroom with a change of clothes.

"Aw, Remmy!" Sirius pouted and sighed, moving to sit down on one of the beds.

"Looks like you just got rejected." James smirked.

"Yeah, well… at least I don't get rejected all the time." Sirius smirked back as James's smirk faltered.

"Hey, I don't get rejected all the time. Only when people are around, right Lils?" James glanced at Lily and blinked at her blush and moved closer. "What's wrong, hun?"

Sirius just rolled his eyes and glanced over at the bathroom door quickly. "James, I think that is your cue to shut up."

"What do you mean?" James blinked up at him cluelessly.

"Dear Merlin, you're in idiot…" Sirius muttered before standing up when Remus came out, all dressed and ready. "Shall we get going now then?" He wrapped his arm around Remus's shoulders and pulled him closer as he led them all out the door, only to stop short when he noticed Peter at the end of the staircase. "Eh? Peter?"

Peter looked up nervously, paling at seeing Sirius with Remus. "S-Sirius." He stuttered out as the whole group walked down the eloquent staircase.

"Mm you coming to breakfast with us?" James cut in before Sirius could say anything.

"I-I just ate."

"Oh?" Sirius stared at him suspiciously, leaning down to stare into Peter's eyes as the other teen looked around nervously, avoiding Sirius's icy eyes. "With who hm?"

"B-by myself."

"I don't believe you."

"But i-it's true!" Peter paled even more.

"Ugh…" Sirius glanced away when Remus finally nudged him in the ribs with his elbow.

James just shook his head disapprovingly at Sirius's manners before smiling brightly at Peter, patting the teen's shoulder in a friendly way. "You sure you don't want to eat with us? You look like you can use some more food."

"N-no I'm f-fine, James." Peter smiled weakly.

"Oh!" Sirius blinked and stared at Peter coolly as everyone glanced up at him from his loud exclamation. "Me and Remus have something to tell you Peter." He smirked and pulled Remus even closer to him, too close to be considered as friends' boundaries.

"W-what is it?" Peter looked at Sirius with a mixture of fear and anxiety.

"We're together."

Peter froze and glanced between the two. "Um w-what?"

"We're together." Sirius cocked his head to side almost arrogantly, his old prideful upbringing coming back to him whenever he faced this measly person he was forced to call a friend. "Something wrong Peter?"

Peter quickly shook his head, in fear that he would cause Sirius to blow up at him. "N-No." He glanced at Remus and bit his lip gently. "Congratulations Remmy." He murmured softly, looking down at his shoes and scruffing them on the floor slowly.

"Thanks." Remus smiled sweetly and tilted his head slightly to stare at Peter's face more closely. "I think James was right, you look a little pale there, Peter. I think James right, you can use some food." He reached out to touch his friend, thinking that he could comfort him only to have Peter flinch away from him. The flinch caused Remus to pull his hand back hesitantly, obviously hurt by Peter's action. "Oh…" He looked down at his hand before looking back at Peter. "Um…maybe you should just go to the Hospital Wing."

Peter glanced down at the floor and nodded, biting his lip. "Yeah…S-sure. Whatever you say Rem." Quickly he scampered out of the Common Room, leaving the rest of the Marauders and Lily confused.

Sirius frowned as he realized how hurt Remus was by the flinch from his old friend. Gently he squeezed Remus closer to him and leaned down to kiss him on the cheek. "C'mon, let's go get something to eat." He muttered and led the group out of the Common Room, all of them deciding to ignore the odd encounter with Peter even though it left them troubled.

O

O

O

Peter looked up from the dark corner he was standing in as he watched his old group of friends walked towards the Great Hall without him. It was better that away anyways, he was sick of them pretending to be his friends when they truly disliked him. Sighing, he looked forlornly at his shoes, biting his lip at the old hurt that surged up from the thoughts of his friends disliking him.

"And I thought they were my friends too…" Peter whispered.

"Who?"

Peter gasped and looked up quickly as he realized someone was there. "J-Jeanne?" He bit his lip and stared at the pretty girl in front of him. "N-no one."

Jeanne raised her eyebrow slowly, shaking her head. "Stop lying, Pettigrew. You're horrible at it" She rolled her eyes. "I'm actually still in amazement as to how you came to be friends with one of the most popular groups in our school."

"I-I…" Peter faltered.

"But I guess I understand now." Jeanne glanced at the backs of the Marauders, glaring at them angrily; her anger at the two boy lovers was poorly concealed. "They were just pretending to be your friends hm? What horrible people…" She glanced back at Peter. "Don't you want to get back at them?"

Peter looked back up at her with wide eyes. "W-what do you mean?"

She smirked and tilted her head. "I have an idea that may just benefit me and you." Jeanne looked over at Sirius quietly. "I've been watching you and your friends quite closely ever since I found out that Sirius got together with Lupin." She stared at him even harder now. "You have a crush on Lupin, don't you?"

Peter blanched and shook his head quickly. "N-no!"

Jeanne shook her head and stood up even straighter. "Hush and hear me out. You see…I want Sirius Black back myself and if you listen to my plans, at least you can separate the two of them. You hate watching them together, don't you?" She waited until Peter hesitantly nodded. "Good…I do too." She moved closer to Peter, setting her books down and standing next to him, whispering her plan to him. "All you have to do is this…" Quietly, her voice trailed off as she told him her plan in hushed tones.

_TBC_


End file.
